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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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A businessman was out with some of the guys at the Golf Course. After taking making a long drive, he twisted his knee pretty bad. He decided it wasn't severe enough to go to the hospital, but still wanted to get it looked at, so he made an appointment for the same day.

 

The doctor greeted the man and asked him to remove his pants so he could get a better look at his knee. The doctor looked at the Businessmans knee and said "You'll need to stop masturbating."

 

The Businessman asked "That's funny. Why?"

 

The Doctor replied "Because I'm trying to examine your knee."

 

 

 

Haina Fuh-Knee??

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This is an actual letter (taken from the Times of India) in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement.

 

Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna . I am seeing your advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on you and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.

 

 

 

I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna . I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School , Bezna Road . I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly.

 

Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.

 

 

 

I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how nice I am.

 

I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so. I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing everywhere.

 

 

I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.

 

 

Madam, if you are marrying me, I am telling you, I will be hardly loving you everyday. If you are not marrying me then I will press you and press you until you come. I am at your feet and slowing looking up, with hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply why because I am stiff with excitement and anticipation.

 

 

 

Expecting good answer and replies to me in the future.

 

 

Namaste.

 

 

 

Yours,

 

Hiralal Yadav

Edited by ambar_hitman
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Oooh we are doing pet peeves, are we? Here is mine -

 

I hate it when some idiot uses a 3.1 MB gif as his avatar thinking he is being all clever and original.

Edited by Aftrunner
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