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killzone123

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Posts posted by killzone123

  2. The Android Thread

    in General Chatter

    Posted · Edited by killzone123

    Moto Defy? I'd say stretch it to 20k and get the Nexus S. Best android phone for its price.

    his budget is already stretched :P ...so i guess something around that range should be best..

    @da..do check defy out..since both ds and anmol saying its good..plus many guys have mentioned its good earlier in the thread too

  4. Movie Discussion Thread

    in General Chatter

    Posted · Edited by killzone123

    saw Serendipity ...nice movie...but felt it was more like karan johar and yash chopra sort of all blushy stuff full of coincidences :P

     

    saw buddha hoga tera baap :doh: ..its time for amitabh bachchan to retire and retire forever gracefully..before usko dhakka maar kar na nikaal jaaye :devil:

     

    and yea also saw murder 2 :naughty: ...yaar why the name bloody murder 2...seriously it can only happen in bollywood where part2 has no relation with part 1...quite average movie...

    as for praises about the villian..that guy is a nice actor...but the story was not that good..average time pass flick

  14. **The Food Thread**

    in General Chatter

    Posted · Edited by killzone123

    had bread biryani at office, don't know what the hell that was, there was like two pieces of bread, and the biryani rice was sticky and short, with minmal spice and aroma and 0 veggies

     

     

     

     

     

    :ranting:

    bread biryani :wacko: first time hearing

  19. Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread

    in General Chatter

    Posted

    A teacher instructs her fifth-grade class to ask their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end.

    The next day the kids come in and share their stories. "My daddy told me about my uncle Dave," says one boy. "He was a pilot in Vietnam and had to bail out over enemy territory with nothing but a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a knife. He drank the whiskey during the drop, then landed in the middle of 20 Charlies. He shot 15, stabbed three, and killed the last two with his bare hands."

    "What is the moral of this horrible story?" yelps the mortified teacher.

    "Stay away from Uncle Dave when he's drinking."

     

    --------------------

     

    The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and tests were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her."

    The first man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent replies, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

    The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came outwith tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent replies, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

    Finally, it was the woman's turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair!"

  20. Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread

    in General Chatter

    Posted

    This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy.

    The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight pussy!"

    .

     

     

    -------------------------------------------------

     

    One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

    She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"

    The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."

    So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."

    Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."

    Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

    A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."

    Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

    -----------------------------------------------------

     

    The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

    "Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"

    The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."

    "Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.

    On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

    "Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

    The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."

     

    ----------------------------------------------------------

     

    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

     

    He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

  21. Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread

    in General Chatter

    Posted

    A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

     

    The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

     

    The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

     

    The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

     

    The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

     

    After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

     

    The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

     

     

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

    A guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop.

     

    After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch; it doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

     

    "I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."

     

    "Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me."

     

    "I understand every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly intelligent and thoroughly educated bird."

     

    "Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

     

    "Well," the parrot says, "this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked, I will tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

     

    "Wow," says the guy, "you really can understand and answer; can't you?"

     

    The guy buys bought the parrot. Weeks go by and the parrot is sensational.

     

    One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Pssst," and motions him over with one wing. The guy goes up close to the cage. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not," says the parrot, "but it's about your lover and the mailman."

     

    "What?" asks the guy.

     

    "Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today, your lover greeted him in a pair of briefs that showed everything and kissed him on the mouth."

     

    "What happened then?" asks the guy.

     

    "Then the mailman came into the house and put his hand on your lovers crotch and began petting him all over," reports the parrot.

     

    "My God!" the guy says. "Then what?"

     

    "Then he pulled down the briefs, got down on his knees and began to lick him, starting with his chest, slowly going down and down." The parrot pauses for a long time...

     

    "What happened? What happened?" says the frantic guy.

     

    "That's what pisses me off. I don't know." said the parrott. "I got a hard-on, and fell off my f**king perch."

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