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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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A young girl after her honeymoon

 

came fully exhausted and tired,

 

 

 

When her friends asked her what happened?

 

 

 

She replied :

 

When this 70 year old bastard told me

 

he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

 

 

 

"I thought It was MONEY

 

 

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Two very fast friends were equally fond of the game of Cricket. Day in and day out, they only played Cricket. All their talks and discussions revolved around Cricket only.

 

 

 

One day, one of them said to other, "What if we die? What if they don't play cricket in heaven? What will we do there in that case?"

 

 

 

They decided to promise each other that whosoever among them dies first will come back and tell the other if they play cricket in heaven too.

 

 

 

Unfortunately, one fine day, one of them dies in an accident and the other one cries a lot for his dead friend. Having been very tired after such a long crying, he goes fast asleep at night.

 

 

 

While in deep sleep, he goes into his dreams. Soon, he can hear a loud,"knock, knock, knock........". Startled, he gets up in his dream to find his dead friend standing before him.

 

 

 

Before anything else, he asks him the first question, "do they play cricket in heaven?What's the news?"

 

 

 

His dead friend answers, "I have 2 sets of news for you, one very good and the other, very bad. Tell me, which one shall I tell you first?"

 

 

 

Continuing, he says, "alright, I will first tell you the good news and the good news is that they play lot of cricket up there. In fact, Yamraj is the wicket-keeper and Chitragupt the Umpire. Whole day, we just play cricket."

 

 

 

His friend is very impressed and says, "that's very good news. And what is the bad one?"

 

 

 

Looking sullen, his dead friend replies, "and the bad news is that you are going to be the Opening batsman in tomorrow's match."

 

 

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Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling"

 

The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen.

 

 

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Question : What is the truest

definition of Globalization ?

Answer : Princess Diana's death .

Question : How come ?

Answer :An English princess with an

Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a

French tunnel, driving a

German car with a

Dutch engine, driven by a

Belgian who was drunk on

Scottish whisky: followed closely by

Italian Paparazzis in

Japanese motorcycles; treated by an

American doctor, using

Brazilian medicines.

And moreover this is sent to you by

a

INDIAN,

using

American

(Steve job's) technology, and you're

probably reading this on your

iPhone or Samsung or blackberry ,

that use

Taiwanese chips, and a

Korean screen, assembled by

Bangladeshi workers in a

Singapore plant, transported by

PAKISTANI lorry-drivers, .... . That is

"" Globalisation

 

 

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