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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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NSFW

 

 

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If it was for the NSFW content of the joke, I've seen way more NSFW content in last 10 pages alone. So I thought mild NSFW is allowed.

If it was because of the disgusting nature of the joke , then , RELAX!! It's just a joke and that's how the character is.

 

EDIT : Saw the comment Steer away from tasteless stuff .

I completely object to this.

Firstly, just because it is tasteless to you , doesn't mean that I can't find them funny.

Secondly, I personally believe the joke was quite well done. The punch lied in the unexpected nature of event rather than being a crude joke.

 

And I had purposefully put them in the middle. In case, someone hated Dolan jokes, they would skip most of them scroll past all of them and and won't notice it.

If someone is reading Dolan jokes, then they should really expect it.

 

I just have one thing to say to this unfair warning :

 

 

 

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An edit would have been ok , but warning is too much.

Edited by egg man
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A few sarcastic yet funny replies to sex queries by sexpert Dr. Mahindra Watsa:

Q: After having sex four times a day, I feel weak the next day. For about five minutes, my vision goes blank and I can't see anything properly. Please help.
A: What do you expect? Shouts of hurray and I am a champion all over town?

Q: Is it safe if penis is kept in the vagina when sleeping?
A: Usually when the penis returns to flaccid state, it will slide out of the vagina. Even if does not, be rest assured the vagina will not have it for breakfast.

Q. I am a 36-year-old man. Six months ago I had sex with a housewife. Then, I made as many as 220 strokes in the 40 minutes of our intercourse. Today, I could only reach 180 in the same time. Please reply. I am worried.
A: Do take part in the Commonwealth Games since you seem like an athlete. My advice is to enjoy the act and stop counting. Do give a thought to whether you are satisfying your partner or not!

Q: I am a 25-year-old man. My penis is short and small in diameter. When aroused, its size increases to resemble a ¾ inch PVC pipe. I have heard that there are capsules available that help increase the size. Please advise.
A: As plenty of water can pass through a PVC pipe, similarly more than enough semen can pass out of your penis.

Q: I have heard that any kind of acidic substance can prevent pregnancy. Can I pour some drops of lemon or orange juice in my girlfriend's vagina after the intercourse? Will it harm her?
A: Are you a bhel puri vendor? Where did you get this weird idea from? There are many other safe and easy methods of birth control. You can consider using a condom.

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A few sarcastic yet funny replies to sex queries by sexpert Dr. Mahindra Watsa:

 

Q: After having sex four times a day, I feel weak the next day. For about five minutes, my vision goes blank and I can't see anything properly. Please help.

A: What do you expect? Shouts of hurray and I am a champion all over town?

 

Q: Is it safe if penis is kept in the vagina when sleeping?

A: Usually when the penis returns to flaccid state, it will slide out of the vagina. Even if does not, be rest assured the vagina will not have it for breakfast.

 

Q. I am a 36-year-old man. Six months ago I had sex with a housewife. Then, I made as many as 220 strokes in the 40 minutes of our intercourse. Today, I could only reach 180 in the same time. Please reply. I am worried.

A: Do take part in the Commonwealth Games since you seem like an athlete. My advice is to enjoy the act and stop counting. Do give a thought to whether you are satisfying your partner or not!

 

Q: I am a 25-year-old man. My penis is short and small in diameter. When aroused, its size increases to resemble a ¾ inch PVC pipe. I have heard that there are capsules available that help increase the size. Please advise.

A: As plenty of water can pass through a PVC pipe, similarly more than enough semen can pass out of your penis.

 

Q: I have heard that any kind of acidic substance can prevent pregnancy. Can I pour some drops of lemon or orange juice in my girlfriend's vagina after the intercourse? Will it harm her?

A: Are you a bhel puri vendor? Where did you get this weird idea from? There are many other safe and easy methods of birth control. You can consider using a condom.

:rofl:

Repped

 

 

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:lol:

Edited by Zodak™
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POLITICAL HOLI

 

 

holi ke iss season me bazaar me mil rahi kuch political pichkariyon par ek nazar..

 

 

Rahul Gandhi Pichkari - ye mummy se pooch kar chalti hai aur isme se paani kam hawa jyada nikalti hai..company isse yuva logon ki pehli pasand bata rahi hai

 

 

Narendra Modi Pichkari - zor ki awaz ke sath chalti hai..company ka dava hai iss pichkari ke istemal se desh ki sabhi samasyao ka turant hal ho jayega

 

 

Arvind Kejriwal Pichkari - iske sath paani company free de rahi hai..company ka daava hai ki ye sabse imandar pichkari hai aur 49 din tak hi chalegi

 

 

Sheila Dixit Pichkari - ye pichkari Delhi me bikri ke liye bani thi..par company ka kehna hai Delhi me demand na hone ke kaaran ab ye Kerala me bik rahi hai

 

 

Sonia Gandi Pichkari - ye special pichkari hai jo bina saamne nazar aaye chalti hai..company isse italy se import kar rahi hai

 

 

Digvijay Singh Pichkari - ye bahut khatarnak pichkari hai jo jab chalti hai kuch panga hi karti hai..company ka kehna hai ki iske istemal se hone wale bawal se company ka koi sambandh nahi

 

 

Manmohan Singh Pichkari - iss pichkari me silencer fit hai bina awaz saalon saal chalti hai..company ka kehna hai ki iski quality ka faisla itihas karega

 

 

Mamta Banerjee Pichkari - yeh pichkari sab "didi" log ke liye hai..company iske sath "anna" brand rang ka packet free baant rahi hai

 

 

Mayawati Pichkari - yeh pichkari sab "behenji" aur "pichhde/dalit" log ke liye hai..company sath me "haathi" chaap kala rang free baant rahi hai

 

 

Raj Thakre Pichkari - yeh pichkari sirf mumbai me bik rahi hai aur sirf uttar bhartiyo par chalti hai..company ka kehna hai ki ye sirf marathi maanush ke istemal liye bani hai gair marathi nahi chala sakte

 

 

Lalu Mulayam Paswan Pichkari - ye pichkari sirf muslim logon ke chalane ke liye banayi gayi hai..hinduon ke liye company ne iski bikri par rok laga rakhi hai

 

 

Jayalalitha Pichkari - ye pichkari tamilnadu me bahut demand me hai..company iske sath bahut kuch free de rahi hai jaise chawal, sari, tv etc. aur tyohar ke season me special offer ke chalte ye pichkari khareedne walo ke jail me band rishtedar bhi riha kiye ja rahe hai

 

 

Khair ji..raajneeti to hoti rahegi..aap sabhi ko advance me HAPPY HOLI

 

 

Sent from my iPhone 5 using Tapatalk - now Free

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