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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.

I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one

thing."

 

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

 

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some

fun?"'

 

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to

your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I

will put them with my two male talking parrots. I have taught them to

pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop

saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will also learn to

praise and worship."

 

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

 

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's

house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in

their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male

parrots. Immediately, the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes,

want to have some fun?"

 

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put

the beads away, Jack. Our prayers have been answered!"

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Shayari :

 

 

Afsana dil ka likh diya, Pehli nazar me use dil diya , Bina soche unhe apna bana liya , Aaj tak dhund rahe uss kami ko jis wajah se unhone hume inkar kiya ......

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Shayari :

 

Khuda teri umar lambi kare, bhagwan teri shaadi jaldi kara de ! Khuda tujhe khush rakhe ! Khuda tujhe barkat de ! yad ho gya ?

 

to chal KATORA utha utha or shuru ho ja .

Edited by Donz21
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Woman sat on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years

 

Wichita (US), Mar 13 (AP) Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years -- so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the man finally called police.

 

It appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat, said Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple. The woman initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

 

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

 

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report yesterday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the boyfriend.

 

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

 

Police declined to release the couple's names, but the boyfriend, Kory McFarren, agreed to be interviewed yesterday

by The Associated Press. He identified his girlfriend as Pam Babcock.

 

McFarren, 36, told investigators he took Babcock food and water and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

 

"And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

 

McFarren told the AP that he was not to blame, and that it was solely Babcock's choice to remain in the bathroom.

 

"She is an adult; she made her own decision. It was my fault I should have gotten help for her sooner; I admit. But

after a while, you kind of get used to it," he said.

 

Whaaaaaat the f**k :wOOtjumpy:

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Wedgie gyaan

 

A wedgie is a schoolyard prank in which one person grabs the back of the waistband of another person's underwear, while he or she is still wearing them, and pulls them up. This wedges their underwear between their butt cheeks. A wedgie can be painful, depending upon how hard it is performed or how high the underwear is pulled up. In the schoolyard, wedgies are most often performed on uncool male children who wear briefs or tighty whities by cool male children who wear boxers. However, wedgies can also be performed on males who wear boxers and on women, too. A wedgie can also be called a gotch pull. A wedgie can also refer to underwear riding up on its own.

There are many different types of wedgies. A wedgie from the front is called a melvin. A wedgie from both sides, often performed by two people, is called a mervin. A wedgie in which the victim's underwear is hung on a doorknob or something high up is called a hanging wedgie. A wedgie in which the underwear rips or tears; or in some cases, rips completely off is called a turbo wedgie or a ripper wedgie. A wedgie in which the pants of the victim are ripped completely off is called a cosmic wedgie. A wedgie in which the female victim is wearing a thong is called a thwedgie. A wedgie on a female from the front is called a vedgie. A wedgie in which the person performing the wedgie jumps up and down in order to wedge the underwear further is called a sky high wedgie. A wedgie in which the victim is given a wedgie and lifted off the ground and then spun around is called the flying dutchman. A wedgie in which after the wedgie is first performed, some kind of a pole is inserted between the legholes and twisted around to give the victim more of a wedgie is called a propeller wedgie. A wedgie in which the victim's underwear is lifted up over their head and rests on their forehard is called an atomic wedgie. A wedgie in which the victim is lifted up the ground by their underwear and the underwear is pulled above their head but does not rest on their forehead is called a nuclear wedgie.

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