Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread

[Houndini]

1 hour ago, hope said:

Moreover, tests and other results have confirmed no issues with water.

 

Errrr.. The E.Coli count in that water is off the charts. It's BOD was very high when recorded. It is one of the filthiest waters in the world. 
CBFC, by magic, changed their stance in March. Suddenly the water became "clean" when Kumbh was ongoing. 
Russia and China se bada Amritkaal propaganda. 

[AnK]

 

 

[Zod]

 

 

 

 

[AnK]

30 minutes ago, Turd Turd Turd said:

CBFC

*CPCB

[Houndini]

8 minutes ago, AnK said:

*CPCB

 

Dhanyavad. 

 

Too many Cs in the govt. 

Edited April 17, 2025 by Turd Turd Turd

[hope]

2 hours ago, Turd Turd Turd said:

 

Errrr.. The E.Coli count in that water is off the charts. It's BOD was very high when recorded. It is one of the filthiest waters in the world. 
CBFC, by magic, changed their stance in March. Suddenly the water became "clean" when Kumbh was ongoing. 
Russia and China se bada Amritkaal propaganda. 

Oh here comes the intellectual ones. Positive reports are dealt with laugh emoji`s and contradicted aggressively while negative reports are criticized to death and made to look like how f**ked we are. 

 

Snakes. 

[Felix the cat]

6 hours ago, AnK said:

 

What evidence is present on record that these ppl were peeing & pooping inside the river or the sewage from other places was being dumped untreated right in the place where all had gathered?!

 

 

 

2 hours ago, hope said:

Oh here comes the intellectual ones. Positive reports are dealt with laugh emoji`s and contradicted aggressively while negative reports are criticized.

 

I really want to clarify on this, first of all bcs I come from this part of India and secondly I visited Prayagraj on 18th feb for snan, my parents insisted me to take them by car bcs they were concerned about traveling by train, many incidents of stone pelting on AC coaches were reported recently that time, even i didnt want them to go by train. So i agree, bcs otherwise they know there is no chance Im going there, not bcs I have any issue attending religious ceremonies but its a place with millions of people and we all know that nobody cares about common people if anything goes wrong in India, i mean expecting frm police or administration is just foolish, for them either we're voters or a pests. 

 

But I already made it clear to my parents that they were not allowed to play emotional card on me bcs Im not gonna take a dip in the river. The reason was, as i said I come from this part so i know two three things better, before prayagraj, its Kanpur where river comes from, and beleive me after crossing kanpur, its not right to even call it a river. I know it also crosses delhi, trust me delhi is way better, its a national capital, their municipal corporation have money, manpower and machines. Forget about these things in kanpur. 

 

So we reached on 18th feb evening, before this i never knew that entering into any city from a highway can be this difficult, it took me 16 hrs of continuous driving, we took off at 1 am of 18th feb and reached at 05:30 pm. So yeah they took a holy dip and offcourse very well played a emotional card to bring me into the river, which spoiled everyone's mood little  in the end.

 

Even I started having second thoughts bcs i was exhausted but I stopped myself. What made me pulled back? 

 

First thing, very noticeable, the unnatural colour of the river. Temporary booths made for Devotees to change clothes just near the river, but misused by devotees themselves and all the urine was flowing outwards from the booths and then into the river. Lot of dogs bcs of food, and lot of their poop just near the bank, washing away slowly by river water, leaving thick yellow trail behind. The least problematic things are Plastic, chappals, flowers and discarded clothes and offcourse lots of people. Funny part is, these things weren't even my concern, not even faecal coliform, I was just saving myself from getting into a chemical broth that comes from kanpur, cancer and what not. I know you all must be thinking why I didn't do anything for my parents, first thing its a waste of time, secondly they're from diff generation, when air, water and river used to be pure and they lived most part of their lifen in that environment only, nothing gonna happen to them. On the other hand, I still have to live more than half of my life into this chemical and gas chamber, with chemically rich food, few chances that i even reach their age. 

 

When my mother finally spoiled my mood after emotionally blackmailing me, insisting on taking dip, just for her sake I took some water and sprinkled on myself with my hand. You know what, after two minutes my fingers become sticky, like it happens when you dip your fingers in sugar syrup or anything sweet, idk why, but im glad that i didnt changed my decision. 

 

 

I don't think this is a political or religious post, it's just my honest experience. So please dont ban me for sharing it 

Edited April 17, 2025 by Felix the cat

[Sapola]

@Felix the cat bhagwan ke vaste iss thread ko maaf kar de.

 

Tere ko joh clarification dena hai DM mein de de.

[Zod]

Lo ji kara li bezzati

 

 

 

 

 

Pakistani reporter asking a foreign psl player, how he rates PSL when compared to IPL?  Lol

 

 

 

Edited April 17, 2025 by Zod

[Zod]

6 hours ago, Right said:

 

Now stfu

 

 

Jokes and funny pls

He keeps calling u snake, so just change name to snake.

 

We already have on Snake on ivg.

[Zod]

27 minutes ago, Felix the cat said:

 

 

I really want to clarify on this, first of all bcs I come from this part of India and secondly I visited Prayagraj on 18th feb for snan, my parents insisted me to take them by car bcs they were concerned about traveling by train, many incidents of stone pelting on AC coaches were reported recently that time, even i didnt want them to go by train. So i agree, bcs otherwise they know there is no chance Im going there, not bcs I have any issue attending religious ceremonies but its a place with millions of people and we all know that nobody cares about common people if anything goes wrong in India, i mean expecting frm police or administration is just foolish, for them either we're voters or a pests. 

 

But I already made it clear to my parents that they were not allowed to play emotional card on me bcs Im not gonna take a dip in the river. The reason was, as i said I come from this part so i know two three things better, before prayagraj, its Kanpur where river comes from, and beleive me after crossing kanpur, its not right to even call it a river. I know it also crosses delhi, trust me delhi is way better, its a national capital, their municipal corporation have money, manpower and machines. Forget about these things in kanpur. 

 

So we reached on 18th feb evening, before this i never knew that entering into any city from a highway can be this difficult, it took me 16 hrs of continuous driving, we took off at 1 am of 18th feb and reached at 05:30 pm. So yeah they took a holy dip and offcourse very well played a emotional card to bring me into the river, which spoiled everyone's mood little  in the end.

 

Even I started having second thoughts bcs i was exhausted but I stopped myself. What made me pulled back? 

 

First thing, very noticeable, the unnatural colour of the river. Temporary booths made for Devotees to change clothes just near the river, but misused by devotees themselves and all the urine was flowing outwards from the booths and then into the river. Lot of dogs bcs of food, and lot of their poop just near the bank, washing away slowly by river water, leaving thick yellow trail behind. The least problematic things are Plastic, chappals, flowers and discarded clothes and offcourse lots of people. Funny part is, these things weren't even my concern, not even faecal coliform, I was just saving myself from getting into a chemical broth that comes from kanpur, cancer and what not. I know you all must be thinking why I didn't do anything for my parents, first thing its a waste of time, secondly they're from diff generation, when air, water and river used to be pure and they lived most part of their lifen in that environment only, nothing gonna happen to them. On the other hand, I still have to live more than half of my life into this chemical and gas chamber, with chemically rich food, few chances that i even reach their age. 

 

When my mother finally spoiled my mood after emotionally blackmailing me, insisting on taking dip, just for her sake I took some water and sprinkled on myself with my hand. You know what, after two minutes my fingers become sticky, like it happens when you dip your fingers in sugar syrup or anything sweet, idk why, but im glad that i didnt changed my decision. 

 

 

I don't think this is a political or religious post, it's just my honest experience. So please dont ban me for sharing it 

You love writing long a*s articles. You should try contacting some news paper and write for them. 

[Sapola]

3 minutes ago, Zod said:

He keeps calling u snake, so just change name to snake.

 

We already have on Snake on ivg

 

Sapola kaisa rahega?

 

[Felix the cat]

25 minutes ago, Right said:

@Felix the cat bhagwan ke vaste iss thread ko maaf kar de.

 

Tere ko joh clarification dena hai DM mein de de.

Why are you being so over dramatic. Ok, I understand i dont know if something ugly happened in the past over political or religious topic, but you knew very well, isnt it,  but still posting such things and creating threads like that. Why double standards bro, being saint, giving advice to everyone but still doing everything opposite. 

[Big Boss]

 

 

 

[Felix the cat]

8 minutes ago, Big Boss said:

 

 

 

Meri maid isse acchi lagti h bc. Dont take that wrong way, jo sach hai wo sach hai

[Zod]

53 minutes ago, Right said:

 

Sapola kaisa rahega?

 

Sapola suits u

[Sapola]

Sapola, it is then.

[Zod]

1 hour ago, Sapola said:

Sapola, it is then.

Since hope after you all the time. He should change to Nevla

[Zod]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[AnK]

3 hours ago, Felix the cat said:

 

 

I really want to clarify on this, first of all bcs I come from this part of India and secondly I visited Prayagraj on 18th feb for snan, my parents insisted me to take them by car bcs they were concerned about traveling by train, many incidents of stone pelting on AC coaches were reported recently that time, even i didnt want them to go by train. So i agree, bcs otherwise they know there is no chance Im going there, not bcs I have any issue attending religious ceremonies but its a place with millions of people and we all know that nobody cares about common people if anything goes wrong in India, i mean expecting frm police or administration is just foolish, for them either we're voters or a pests. 

 

But I already made it clear to my parents that they were not allowed to play emotional card on me bcs Im not gonna take a dip in the river. The reason was, as i said I come from this part so i know two three things better, before prayagraj, its Kanpur where river comes from, and beleive me after crossing kanpur, its not right to even call it a river. I know it also crosses delhi, trust me delhi is way better, its a national capital, their municipal corporation have money, manpower and machines. Forget about these things in kanpur. 

 

So we reached on 18th feb evening, before this i never knew that entering into any city from a highway can be this difficult, it took me 16 hrs of continuous driving, we took off at 1 am of 18th feb and reached at 05:30 pm. So yeah they took a holy dip and offcourse very well played a emotional card to bring me into the river, which spoiled everyone's mood little  in the end.

 

Even I started having second thoughts bcs i was exhausted but I stopped myself. What made me pulled back? 

 

First thing, very noticeable, the unnatural colour of the river. Temporary booths made for Devotees to change clothes just near the river, but misused by devotees themselves and all the urine was flowing outwards from the booths and then into the river. Lot of dogs bcs of food, and lot of their poop just near the bank, washing away slowly by river water, leaving thick yellow trail behind. The least problematic things are Plastic, chappals, flowers and discarded clothes and offcourse lots of people. Funny part is, these things weren't even my concern, not even faecal coliform, I was just saving myself from getting into a chemical broth that comes from kanpur, cancer and what not. I know you all must be thinking why I didn't do anything for my parents, first thing its a waste of time, secondly they're from diff generation, when air, water and river used to be pure and they lived most part of their lifen in that environment only, nothing gonna happen to them. On the other hand, I still have to live more than half of my life into this chemical and gas chamber, with chemically rich food, few chances that i even reach their age. 

 

When my mother finally spoiled my mood after emotionally blackmailing me, insisting on taking dip, just for her sake I took some water and sprinkled on myself with my hand. You know what, after two minutes my fingers become sticky, like it happens when you dip your fingers in sugar syrup or anything sweet, idk why, but im glad that i didnt changed my decision. 

 

 

I don't think this is a political or religious post, it's just my honest experience. So please dont ban me for sharing it 

Dude the point is not about making sense on hygiene or not.

 

It’s just that this is not the place for criticising someone else’s faith & finding sense in it.

 

Ppl will retaliate showing other ugly customs & cultural foolishness(first thing that comes to my mind is that tablikki jamaat licking each others mucous filled cutlery) & this will lead to a community name calling & war…

 

Just no point getting into all that.

 

We are sane educated individuals…that crap has no place among us.