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Chaztin
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^^:lol:

 

Resume

Balakrishna Nandamuri Email: killthepeople@ suicide.com

Phone: +910000000000

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Career Object : To make the audience run away from theaters.

 

Preofessio'nil' Experience:

 

· 30 years in Telugu Industry.

 

· Junior Artist - 1974 (with 1 hit, 9 flops)

 

· Side role- 1979(14 flops)

 

· Lead role- 1986- till date( 4 hits, 44 flops)

 

 

Acting Skills:

 

· Stop Moving Trains, Killing People with Cocks(Palnati brahmanaidu) ,

 

· Climbing Mt. Everest with out any Help (Vijayendra varma),

 

· Shooting a bullet from mouth (Allari pidugu),

 

· Playing with current (Okka magadu), etc.

 

Expected CTC: Min. 5 crores for each film

 

Achievements: World Record, Limca Record and Pepsi Record in flops

 

Role Model: My Self and Captain Vijayakanth, the Telugu Tiger of Tamil Nadu

 

Project Details:

1. Bike riding on ground to running Train and go to Pakistan from India with Parachute only.

2. Climbing any mountain with hands.

3. Pulling chair front and sending train back

 

 

 

Leadership Skills:

 

· Led 12564 hens and cocks to attack the enemies and won the battle.

 

Special Attraction:

1. Shoot People not only in movie, but outside also

 

2. Having laser eyes. (Kanti Chuputho champaysatha)

 

3. Senseless talking in functions, interviews

 

4. Hitting thigh (Thoda Kottadam)

 

 

Personal Details:

 

Name: BalKrish N

Age : 30yrs in Industry

Weight: I Dont know Exactly(Mission Not Working..... .Showing Display As "Weight LIMIT OVER".)

Sex: Intrested

Hobbies: I am Not a Man to have Hobbies

 

 

Finally 2 Days Back, Sending This Resume to US Govt. with Ref. Barak Obama for the post of Chief Investigation Officer, FBI.

 

Presently Thinking and Waiting for the Call........ ......... !

 

 

 

Conclusion:

 

 

Balayya went to a library and asked for a book "Psycho The Rapist".

 

The Librarian searched for hours and came back ...slapped Balayya and said,

 

"Idiot, the book is called Psychotherapist ".

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Lalit Modi 3 weeks back: Surrounded by Katrina, Deepika, Preity & Shilpa----AXE Effect

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now by IT Officials ---TAX Effect

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A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to no avails. What can I do?

Signed

 

Reply

Dear Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 . If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7

Good Luck Madam!

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name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="
type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>">
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type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350">
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