Choron ka raja Posted September 1, 2010 Report Share Posted September 1, 2010 @gaurav & afty please don't kill the thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solitaire Posted September 1, 2010 Report Share Posted September 1, 2010 @gaurav & afty please don't kill the thread. Don't worry i won't. You can see how quickly I cut down my gif size, it's not like I want war on a jokes thread seeing as in how I'm usually all for putting jokes on a jokes thread and subsequently commenting on how good/bad jokes on said jokes thread are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemo Posted September 1, 2010 Report Share Posted September 1, 2010 http://visboo.com/happy-dicaprio.html#more-5667 this sh*t is hilarious , cant stop laughing man this is so so dope !! awesome find ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Choron ka raja Posted September 1, 2010 Report Share Posted September 1, 2010 (edited) Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They did spreadsheets! They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy reports They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than he ll. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!' Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?' God just shrugged and said, 'JESUS SAVES' --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was opening night at the Orpheum theatre and the Amazing Eileen was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do her stuff. As the Amazing Eileen took to the stage, she announced, ”Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.” The excitement was almost electric as the Amazing Eileen withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from her coat. ”I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It’s a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations.” She began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, ”Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch…. ”. The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist’s fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. ”Sh*t” ……………..said the hypnotist. It took three weeks to clean up the theatre. Edited September 1, 2010 by Choron ka Raja Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solitaire Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 Ah, Haven't heard that 2nd joke. Good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~--YeSH--~ Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 ^^ charizards my fav Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~--YeSH--~ Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 http://visboo.com/friday-gif-selection-34-gifs.html First one is awsum... reminds me of my ex.. :| Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pArth Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godspeed4476 Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 ^^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madhav Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 http://www.rgbpicture.com/pictures-taken-at-the-perfect-time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madhav Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 *NSFW* Rampage Jackson Dry Humps & Nearly Impregnates Unsuspecting Female Reporter !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godspeed4476 Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 priceless 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man In The Box Posted September 3, 2010 Report Share Posted September 3, 2010 ^^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man In The Box Posted September 3, 2010 Report Share Posted September 3, 2010 MW 2 meet WOW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnackChap Posted September 3, 2010 Report Share Posted September 3, 2010 Pakistani media has blamed India's Research and Analysis Wing (RAW) for the match fixing scandal, and says that India wants to oust Pakistan from international cricket. A Pakistani newspaper, Daily Mail, carried a story with the title 'The Lord's episode another RAW ploy'. It says International Cricket Council's [ Images ] chief Sharad Pawar [ Images ] has been working to get the Pakistan team banned for three to five years and the bookie, Mazhar Majeed, is a RAW man, who was introduced to Indian cricket by RAW officials. The report further says: "The bookie met Pakistan players in South Africa [ Images ] at a dinner for the first time in 2009. The English journalist got 50,000 pounds to organise the fake sting operation from RAW and the Indian High Commission in London [ Images ] played a key role in the bookie's bail." According to the report, Pawar and Scotland Yard are making futile efforts to involve Pakistani players in spot-fixing with the desire of a 2-3 years ban on Pakistan. The ICC [ Images ] chief and its members, who work for RAW, were the masterminds behind all this planned mess, with special focus on ending the career of new teenage pace sensation Mohammad Amir, the report says. It also says that the picture of Salman Butt [ Images ] along with the bookie and some reporter is clearly fabricated. Furthermore, the video of the bookie, Majeed, giving a jacket containing the pounds to Wahab Riaz is also fabricated, the paper said. The Daily Mail's report says that the bookie is a RAW front man and holds a key position in RAW's illicit fund generation programs. He was merely a ticket tout at movie theatres in Mumbai [ Images ] till a few years back when he was handpicked by RAW, like they did it in the Chhota Rajan case, and was put under the command of RAW's Special Operations Division SOD, headed by Rajan, where he was trained for sports betting, it adds. The report further indicates that Majeed was introduced to different bookies in Mumbai, Delhi [ Images ], Johannesburg, Cape Town and Dubai [ Images ] by RAW officials. In 2007, RAW arranged Majeed's meeting with India's star players, like Sachin Tendulkar [ Images ], Harbhajan Singh [ Images ] and Rahul Dravid [ Images ], so that they could further introduce Majeed to different players of other teams -- especially Pakistan and other top cricketers around the world, like Shane Watson [ Images ]. "In September 2009, an Indian businessman Vijay Aaloowalia, based in Cape Town, South Africa, hosted a dinner for Pakistani and Indian cricketers on the sidelines of Champions Trophy [ Images ]. Bookie Majeed was also invited to that dinner where some Pakistani players were introduced to him for the first time. Though the trick didn't work and the Pakistan team defeated India easily in that tournament, Majeed remained in touch with Pakistan players from then onwards," the report adds. The British police is currently carrying out investigation into allegations that players Salman Butt, Mohammad Amir and Mohammad Asif took bribes to fix incidents during the fourth Test against England last week. At least our print media doesnt suck this bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megzworld Posted September 3, 2010 Report Share Posted September 3, 2010 Even your Jokes are so smart Krackchap.. U just so deserve to be a Smartchap..Really!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aRch-0n Posted September 3, 2010 Report Share Posted September 3, 2010 ^ Kc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bird Bird Bird Posted September 3, 2010 Report Share Posted September 3, 2010 The multitude of possibilities when people use this smiley is mind-boggling !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aRch-0n Posted September 3, 2010 Report Share Posted September 3, 2010 Alekh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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