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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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Kachidza was at a local beerhall when a beautiful woman walked in. The beerhall was full and there was only one one place to sit: next to him! Kachidza, always a friendly guy, decided to strike up a conversation with his pretty new neighbor. But as soon as he said “Hello, Miss…” she turned to him and screamed at the top of her lungs, “WHAT KIND OF A PERSON DO YOU THINK I AM, YOU PERVERT!”

 

This caught him very off guard, as all of his friends in the beerhall were glaring at him for trying to molest this newcomer. He slouched down as far as he could on his stool, and looked at what he knew would be his last drink here in a long time.

 

After a few minutes the lady said to him, “I’m sorry if I scared or embarrassed you. I’m a Psychology student and I’m doing a study on what happens to an innocent person when they are falsely accused of something in public. Please don’t take it personally. We’re friends, right? Shake hands?”

 

Kachidza looked at her, her hand stretched out, her eyes imploring and yelled out, “A THOUSAND BUCKS FOR A NIGHT!!! ARE YOU CRAZY??”

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Two prisoners, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker.

 

The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, “Son, do you have a last request ?”

 

To which the man replied, “Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play The Macarena for me one last time?”

 

“Certainly,” replied the warden.

 

He turned to the other man and asked, “Well, what about you, son ? What is your final request?”

 

“Please,” said the condemned man, “KILL ME FIRST.”

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