Jump to content

Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
 Share

Recommended Posts

A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.

A husband, "Put 'MYPENIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough."

 

already posted but nice :roflroll:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Q- What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

A- His wife/Girlfriend is good at picking out clothes.

 

Q-What's the difference between men and government bonds?

A-Bonds mature.

 

Q-How is a man like a snowstorm?

A-Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long it'll stay.

 

Q-Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?

A-Because those men already have boyfriends.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some f**ckin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more f**ckin’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the f**ckin’ French toast <_< "

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

:P

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...