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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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One warm summer evening a mother was driving with her three young children. A woman in the convertible in front of them stood up and waved. She was STARK NAKED. As the mother was reeling from shock, the five year old said, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

 

a man asked a gay horse:what are are your hobbies ?

the horse replied:well... traveling dancing and riding horses

 

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too! "

 

"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."

 

"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.

 

"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"

 

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

 

"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."

 

"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"

 

"I switched cocks," he replied.

 

She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"

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Periods late..

 

//..Haven't had sex..\

................................

i must be carrying the next baby Jesus

 

 

 

 

The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.

I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex

It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said

I wanna watch.

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