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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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Checkout a part of Clear Sky review from that site, totally ROFLworthy:

 

http://www.videogamessuck.com/review350.html

 

The realism aspect in this game is f**king OVERBOARD! Games aren't real life, if I want to f**king put a bandage over a wound that wont heal after 3 or 4 bandages then I will f**king take a chainsaw to my arm. They thought it would be a good idea to have your gun jam, bleeding wounds not heal, get hungry, et cetera, et f**king cetera. This is NOT fun, it's a f**king hassle. Why not make it so that you trip over a rock every once in a while, when you get shot in the face you either die and have to buy a new copy of the game or have half of the screen go black, or make it so you have to use a wheelchair after a grenade lands by your feet. Having your gun jam is something they even brag about on the f**king box! FAIL!!! The worst part is that when you gun is a tiny fraction of health low it loves to not work. I've had to f**king reload the gun three times in a row while dogs where biting my a*s. Yet, for the enemy guns not only don't jam, they have perfect f**king specs. So you will sit in the darkness with a sniper rifle while they have a f**king shotgun taking headshots and you're left holding your dick in the middle of public. f**k THIS FAGGOTY MESS.

 

Lastly, they thought it would be fun to have random emissions in the game. Let me explain, every five minutes you have to stop, look for cover and wait 30 seconds while ALL events and characters disappear sitting on your thumb. Only, 30 seconds in f***** Russian time is 6 f**king minutes. I sat and looked at my watch while counting how long a second went by. It takes 15 seconds for a f**king second of the game to go by. WHAT WHERE THEY THINKING!?!? It especially doesn't help by having a key plot point being your character will die if any more emissions occur.

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@CKR

 

Point 1, 2nd sentence. Purane aur maile kapde, badi ???? daadi? Can't pronounce that. Also last line, utkarshta ???? kehne?...Btw, aren't fullstops in Hindi '|' instead of '.'

 

Means "Old and soiled clothes, unshaved beard". Also, I just copy pasted it, so let the fullstops as ".". Don't bother much!

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Means "Old and soiled clothes, unshaved beard". Also, I just copy pasted it, so let the fullstops as ".". Don't bother much!

 

I know what the rest of the words mean, but the word between badi and daadi, i dunno to pronounce that, which is what i asked.

 

Ah, i was a bit confused whether it was marathi or was it hindi that used '|'. Cheers!

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Point 1, 2nd sentence. Purane aur maile kapde, badi ???? daadi? Can't pronounce that. Also last line, utkarshta ???? kehne?...Btw, aren't fullstops in Hindi '|' instead of '.'

 

That is Badhi hui Daadhi. Means grown up beard. Utkrishtata ke kya kehne means what to say about the splendor.

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While making love, he says:

- Darling, let's do 68!

- 68??? What's that?

- You do it to me and I'll owe you one.

 

---------

 

A little boy asked his mother:

- Mummy, why are you white and I am black?

- Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.

 

---------

 

 

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband

starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and

says 'Sorry honey, I've got a gynocologist appointment

tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'

 

The husband feels rejected and turns over. A few minutes

later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. 'Do you

have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'

 

---------

 

The old couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting

at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think,

fifty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table together.'

 

'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as

a jaybird, too .' 'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'

 

Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the

table. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My

nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'

 

'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and

the other is in your oatmeal.'

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