Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread

[abhi90]

you two have srsly f**ked up brains j/k

[bubblehead]

that was a forward i recieved from my gf

 

j/k

[godspeed4476]

those 2 vids must be amongst the funniest vids, i've ever seen in ma life............

The cat gets raped by a rabbit and the poor turtle vents out his "frustation" at the shoe

[Pushy]

lol @ jhonny's vid

[jackhammer06]

It seems that Japani is dealing only in Animals now...... :rofl:

[bubblehead]

here are some more

 

 

[My weight is 102 kgs]

[hammerhead]

^If I were in school, I would have taken a print out and stuck it to my wall.

[AtheK]

You Know You Are Addicted To The Internet When...

 

You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act.

You kiss your girlfriend's home page.

Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.

You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.

You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.

You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop

You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.

All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: cable modem...T1...T3.

And even your night dreams are in HTML.

You find yourself typing "com"after every period when using a word processor.com

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.

You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new mail arrives.

Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

When looking at a page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.

Your dog has its own home page.

You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. or [C]ontinue?

You can't call your mother...she doesn't have internet.

You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.

You believe nothing looks sexier than a nude illuminated only by a 19 LCD.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.

You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

You don't know what sex your three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

You name your children Mozilla and Dotcom.

You laugh at people with 56K modems.

Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games

You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html

You actually try that 123.elm.street address.

Your virtual girlfriend finds a new net sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.

You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.

Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel.

You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.

You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you never log off.

The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.

You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while you are pretending to catch your breath.

You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

You forget what year it is.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.

Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer so the two of you can chat.

[hammerhead]

^I suffer from three of those

[AtheK]

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

<>

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

 

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

 

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

 

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

 

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

 

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

 

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving but open to meeting new people.

 

After 70, she becomes like Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

 

 

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

 

Between 1 and 90, a man is like Iran , ruled by nuts....

[bubblehead]

[jackhammer06]

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

 

Between 1 and 90, a man is like Iran , ruled by nuts....

Well said"A-MAN"

[bubblehead]

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a4c_1236803419

[Doobz]

Lool japani was searching for dating tips when he found that 4sure

[BuffMonkey]

LOL!

 

turtle and bunny rape vids are hilarious

[bubblehead]

Achmed, Jingle Bombs->

 

Dashing through the sand

with the bombs strapped to my bag

I have a nasty plan

for christmas in Iraq

 

I got through checkpoint A

but not through checkpoint B

coz that's when I got shot in the a*s

by the U.S military.

 

Jingle Bombs, Jingle Bombs

Mine blew up you see.

Where are all the virgins that Bin Laden promised me?

 

Jingle Bombs, Jingle Bombs,

your soldier shot me dead,

the only thing that I have left is this towel upon my head.

 

I used to me a man,

but every time I cough,

thanks to Uncle Sam,

my nuts keep falling off.

 

My bombing days are done,

I need to find some work,

Perhaps would be much safer

as a convinience store night clerk.

 

Jingle Bombs, Jingle Bombs,

I think I got screwed,

don't laugh at me because I'm dead or I Kill you!!

[bubblehead]

dont say a thing.

the baby is having too much fun.

Edited March 14, 2009 by gurpreet

[The JACKAL]

HOLLYWOOD'S WORST AUDITION

Jon Lovitz, Owen Wilson, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Gary Busey audition for some of Hollywoods greatest movies

 

Edited March 14, 2009 by SUNSHINE

[bubblehead]

the best bodyspray for women.