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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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A bus full of ugly people had an accident and they all died

Before entering heaven a voice asked them a wish that will be granted.

So the first one said "i want to be beautiful" and it happened.

The rest followed with the same wish.

When the last one arrives.. he kept on laughing so the voice asks him "why are u laughing?" "What's ur wish?" and he replied

"Make them all ugly again!"

 

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On a leave at home, a man makin his breakfast and reading the news when suddenly someone rings his door.

He went open it and found a woman and she asked "Do you have a p*nis".

Outraged and furious he closed the door without replying.

Thinking this was just a one day coincidence, the man was surprise to c that the same woman came back again for 3 more consecutive days!

Confused the man told his wife about it, and the wifey decides to stay home the next day, and tells the man to reply to the lady's question and c wut she wants.

The next day the lady's comes and rings again, the man opens the gate, his wife hiding n ready to burst in case the lady act stupid.

Lady: "do u have a p*nis?"

Man: "Yeah, isn't that obvious?"

Lady: "Well tell ur wife to use yours and stop coming to use my husband's!"

 

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On a peaceful day, 3 friends standing by a fountain when suddenly a genie emerged from the water.

He then asked the 3 guys to throw anything in the water one after another, if he is able to retrieve what has been thrown, the thrower dies, otherwise all his wishes are granted.

So the First guys goes ahead and throws in a penny. Which is easily retrieved by the genie and the dude died!

The second goes ahead and throws is a pinch of sand. The genie retrieved that too and the second guy died.

The third one scared to death, reach his pocket and throws something in the water. After a while the genie starts lookin for the object.

3hours passes and the genie is still not able to find wut the dude threw in the fountain. Exhausted he comes to the 3rd guy and asked:

Genie: "What did u throw in the water? i can't find it!"

3rd Guy: "I threw an effervescent tablet b*tch!"

 

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