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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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A woman goes into the welfare office to try to get some

benefits. She has a person helping her fill out the forms.

 

"How many children do you have?"

 

"Ten, all boys."

 

"What are their names?"

 

"LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy,

LeRoy and LeRoy."

 

Isn't that unusual? What if you call them for a meal?"

 

"I just call 'LeRoy,' and all 10 come running."

 

"What if it's time to quit playing, and come in to go to bed?"

 

"I just call 'LeRoy,' and -- again -- all 10 come running."

 

"But what if you just want one of them?"

 

"I just call him by his last name."

 

 

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A Black named Jonnie is sitting in first grade prep school.

On the first day of school, Johnnie's teacher asked the

students to count to 50. Many of them did very well, some

getting as high as 37. But Johnnie did extremely well; he

made it to 100 with only 3 mistakes. When he arrives home,

after school, he discusses this with his father: "Dad, we

were taught how to count today, and all the kids in my

class only got to 37, and I counted towards 100! How comes?"

His father replies: "Boy, that is because you're an afro.

I'm proud you show them our superiority."

 

The next day, the class learns about the alphabet, the

teacher asked students to recite the alphabet. Some made

it to the letter "k" with only one mistake, but Johnnie

outdid them again. He made it all the way through, missing

only the letter "m". That evening he once again brought

his Dad up to date and Dad explained to him, "That's

because you black, and superior to those Honkies.

 

On Wednesday, after Physical Education, the boys were

taking showers. Johnnie noted that, compared to the other

boys in his grade, he seemed overly "well-endowed". This

confused him. That night, he asked his Dad, "Dad, when we

were in the dressing room, I saw my dick was about this

long (holds both hands wide apart) and those whities dicks

were only this long (keeps index and middle finger almost

together) Is that because I'm Black?"

 

"No, son, "explained Dad, "That's because you're 18!"

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A black guy and white guy are arguing over whether God is

black or white. They cannot agree and finally decide to

fly to Israel, climb the highest mountain and shout the

question to God. After they arrive and reach the summit

of the holiest mountain, the white guy shouts out, "God,

what are you, black or white?"

 

Soon, dark clouds gather, the wind picks up, lightning is

flashing and this thundering voice replies: "I am what I

am."

 

The white guy turns to the black and says, "See, I told

you He was white."

 

"How do you know?" asks the black.

 

"Because," says the white guy, "If He was black, He would

have said "I is what I is.""

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A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his mom

is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it

all over his face.

 

"Mom, look, I'm a white boy."

 

His mom slaps him in the face and says "Go show your

father"

 

He goes to his dad in the living room and says "Look

dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the

face and says "Go show your grandmother."

 

The boy goes in his grandmothers room and says "Look

granny, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him

in the face and sends him back to his mother.

 

His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?"

 

To which the boy replies, "Sure enough did. I have only

been white for five minutes and I already hate you black

people.

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