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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

 

He goes to the German hell and asks,

 

"What do they do there?"

 

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.

 

Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.

 

Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

 

The man doesn't like it, so he moves on and

checks out the American hell, the Russian hell and

hells of other countries.

 

He finds that they're all more or less the same as the German hell.

 

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in.

 

Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

 

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.

 

Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.

 

Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

 

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells; so why are so many people waiting to get in here?" wonders the man.

 

He is told, "Because the maintenance here is so bad that the electric chair does not work,

 

Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed

 

and the Indian devil is a former government servant,

 

So he just comes, signs the attendance register and then goes to the canteen..!" :D:P

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One morning at a doctor's clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain.

 

The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That's how I strained my back.

 

"The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.. What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late.. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge.

 

"The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to you.?"

 

"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor" =D

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One morning at a doctor's clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain.

 

The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That's how I strained my back.

 

"The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.. What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late.. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge.

 

"The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to you.?"

 

"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor" =D

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One morning at a doctor's clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain.

 

The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That's how I strained my back.

 

"The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.. What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late.. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge.

 

"The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to you.?"

 

"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor" =D

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Girl: Im having heart surgery today

Boy: I know

Girl: I love u

Boy: I love u much more.

 

After surgery When the girl woke up

only her Father was next to her bed Girl:

Daddy, Where is he?

Father: U don’t know who gave u the heart?

Girl: What?

She starts crying ..

 

.

 

.

 

Father: Just kidding..

Bahar khada samose kha raha hai

Haramkhor..!! :lol:

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