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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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I think Jaggu has been warned once for his silly joke.

 

 

Well better than Broken 1ris jokes!

 

 

Don't remind me abiut it man.

Woh uncle ki one working eye was apparently only on me. Post delete & warn upgrade & what not over a silly mistake. Baki Bc Mc & stuff hereafter he checked out with the shut eye.

Nonsense!

:rant:

Edited by ThE JuGgErNaUT
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I bet no one can beat this...

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I never take risk while drinking.

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When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking

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I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen

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I stealthily enter the house

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Take out the bottle from my black cupboard

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Gandhiji is looking at me from the photo frame

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But still no one is aware of it

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Becoz I never take a risk

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I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink

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Quickly enjoy one peg

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Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack

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Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard

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Gandhiji is giving a smile

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I peep into the kitchen

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Wife is cutting potatoes

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No one is aware of what I did

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Becoz I never take a risk

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I to my wife : Any news on chopra's daughter's marriage

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Wife : Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out for her .

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I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard

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But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle

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I take out the glass from the old rack above sink

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Quickly enjoy one peg

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Wash the  bottle and keep it in the sink

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Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard

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But still no one is aware of what I did

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Becoz I never take a risk

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I to Wife : But still I think chopra's daughter's age is not that much

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Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse

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I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...

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I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard

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But the cupboard's place has automatically changed

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I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink .

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Gandhiji laughs loudly

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I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash photo & keep it in the black cupboard .

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Wife is keeping the sink on the stove

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But still no one is aware of what I did

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Becoz I never take a risk

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I to Wife: (getting angry) you call Mr. chopra a horse? If you say that again, I willcut your tongue...!

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Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...

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I take out the bottle from the potatoes

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Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg

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Wash the sink and keep it over the rack

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Wife is giving a smile

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Gandhiji is still cooking

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But still no one is aware of what I did

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Becoz I never take a risk

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I to Wife : (laughing) So chopra is marrying a horse!!

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Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...

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I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack

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Stove is also on the rack

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There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside .

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I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink

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But none of the horses are aware of what I did

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Becoz Gandhiji never takes a risk .

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Chopra is still cooking

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And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing

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BecozI never take...... never take ..... never take what???       I

never take a potato I think...

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Kudos..! Drinkers..!

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Wine is Bottled POETRY.. ;)/>/>

 

TLDR <_</>

 

warning explict language

Light ki gair maujudgi mein Galib farmate hai...

-Hum toh yu hi Lund khada kar k soye hue the Gaalib,

Koi Behen ka lauda Mombatti samajh kar maachis laga gaya...

phool murjhate achhe nahi lagte..

Aap lund khujate achhe nahi lagte....

.koi to pata lo, ab meri jaan....

Roj roj bathroom me hilaate achhe nahi lagte.

 

 

:rofl:/> EPIC

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warning explict language

Light ki gair maujudgi mein Galib farmate hai...

-Hum toh yu hi Lund khada kar k soye hue the Gaalib,

Koi Behen ka lauda Mombatti samajh kar maachis laga gaya...

phool murjhate achhe nahi lagte..

Aap lund khujate achhe nahi lagte....

.koi to pata lo, ab meri jaan....

Roj roj bathroom me hilaate achhe nahi lagte.

 

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

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warning explict language

Light ki gair maujudgi mein Galib farmate hai...

-Hum toh yu hi Lund khada kar k soye hue the Gaalib,

Koi Behen ka lauda Mombatti samajh kar maachis laga gaya...

phool murjhate achhe nahi lagte..

Aap lund khujate achhe nahi lagte....

.koi to pata lo, ab meri jaan....

Roj roj bathroom me hilaate achhe nahi lagte.

 

 

 

:roflroll: :roflroll:

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Is registan mein phool kaise khilega

Is registan mein phool kaise khilega

 

Dhondo abhijeet dhondo kuch na kuch saboot jarur milega!!!

 

 

 

 

Ladies ke Sath kaun kaise Badtameeji karta hai.

 

Bank wala: Madam Aap So-So ke Lengi?

 

Fruit wala: Zara Kele ke Size To Dekho, Dil Khush Ho Jayega.

 

Petrol Wala: Kitna Dalun?

 

Dhobi: Bhabhiji Aap Kapde Nikalo, Mai Abhi Aata Hun.

 

Photocopy Wala : Madam Aage Piche dono Taraf Se Karun Ya Sirf ek Side Se .

 

 

 

Some Hindi Vulgar Jokes so putting it under spoiler.

 

 

T.V. Add- Villan try to rape a Girl. But ladki k salwar ka Nada nhi khol paya, voice from background- Aapki maa behen ki ijjat k rakhwaale Pappu Naade wale..!:-

 

 

Sex krte time Wife> Dhire-2 Malgaadi Mat Chalao.Jor-Jor se Shatabdi bhgao

Bachcha Palang se Gira or Bola> 'MAKA BHO**A'Jo Marzi Ho Chalao Par Savari to mat girao

 

 

 

Super Post

shaayari:

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Mangta hun to deti nahi ho,

Jawaab meri baat ka..!!

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Aur deti ho to khada ho jata hai,

Rom-Rom jazbat ka..

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Muuh me lena tumhe pasand

nahi, Ek bhi qatra sharab ka..

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Phir Kyu bolti ho ke dheere se

daalo, Balon mein phool gulab ka??

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Woh Soti rahi mein karta raha,

Intezaar uske jawab ka..

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Abhi uske haath me rakha hi tha

ke usne pakad liya, Guldasta Gulab

ka..

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Usne kaha pichhe se nahi aage se

karo,

Deedar Mere husn-e-shabbab

ka..

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Usne kaha bada maza aata hai

jab andar jata hai..

Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz Tere pyar

ka..!!

 

 

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus

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This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle.

Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y.

Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay.

One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal.

To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis.

"Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?"

"No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'"

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