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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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super pic littlebigplayer..!! :good:

 

i had gone to Bhutan last year and there was a signboard there as well with the objectionable word (in hindi) and it related to the owner's name. A pity i cant find the pic now :(

Edited by The Ugly
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Got ths in email

 

 

A girl goes to an interview

 

Interviewer asks her "koi aisi cheez batao jiske 4 wheel hote hai

Girl answers --Car

 

Interviewer --Wrong Toyota Car

 

Asks again "koi aisi cheez batao jiske 2 wheel hote hai

 

 

Girl answrs Bike

 

Interviewer --No Honda Bike

 

 

girl gets angry n asks him "koi aisi cheez batao jiske

charo taraf baal hai aur beech mai hole hai"

 

 

Interviewer says

Cho*t

 

 

Girl - Nahi

Teri maa ki Cho*t

 

Edited by Angersmash
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[after drinking household chemicals]

Harry Solomon: Um, I've lost all feeling in the left side of my body.

[Looks at upside-down can]

Harry Solomon: Could somebody please call "116"?

 

 

Dick Solomon: Dr. Albright, have I been a perfect a*s?

Mary Albright: Aw, nobody's perfect.

 

 

Mary Albright: I think you look distinguished with gray hair.

Dick Solomon: Thank you. I think you would look distinguished with gray hair, too.

Mary Albright: No. When men get gray hair, they look distinguished. When women get gray hair, they look old.

Dick Solomon: When women get breasts, they look sexy. When men get breasts, they look old.

Mary Albright: Good point!

 

 

Dick Solomon: Guns don't kill people, physics kills people.

Dick Solomon: Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?

Mary Albright: Haven't you come to your senses yet?

Dick Solomon: I will never come to my senses!

 

 

Dick Solomon: I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now *Senior* Security Officer.

Sally Solomon: That'll look good on the ol' résumé!

Dick Solomon: Tommy, you are now *Senior* Information Officer.

Tommy Solomon: It's about time!

Harry Solomon: What about me?

Dick Solomon: Harry, you are now... Harold.

Harry Solomon: Champagne for everyone!

 

 

Dick Solomon: There are two kinds of toilet paper in this bathroom. I, and I alone, get the fluffy kind.

 

 

Harry Solomon: I want to give mankind the gift... of electricity.

Tommy Solomon: Harry, they already have electricity.

Harry Solomon: Well! Then my work here is done.

 

 

Tommy Solomon: Harry, I need you to drive me somewhere.

Harry Solomon: Nope.

Tommy Solomon: You know I outrank you.

Harry Solomon: Then, "No, sir!"

 

 

Vicki Dubcek: How dare you use your flesh to tempt me?

Harry Solomon: Well, that's what it's there for!

 

 

[Dick is whining about is job]

Harry Solomon: You know, Dick, when life gives you lemon, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.

Mary Albright: Just be glad you're at the top of the food chain and nothing eats you.

Dick Solomon: What about the shark in Jaws. He's so scary.

 

 

This is frm a tv show called 3rd rock frm sun....

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