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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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Kahte hain..

Shaadi ki gaantth to aasman mein hi bandh jati hai..

 

Insan to sirf petikot salwar bra ki

gaantthe kholne ke liye hi zamin par bheja jaata hai

 

 

1 Seminar mein Question pucha gya:

CONDOM ka full form batao?

 

1 Intellegent ladki ne jawab diya

C.Control

O.On

N.Natural

D.Drops

O.Of

M.Man’s Leakage.

 

 

Lady Teacher: Soch aur wahem mein kya fark hai?

 

Student: Aap mast item hai ye hamari soch hai,

Aur hum abhi bacche hai ye aap ka weham hai

 

 

 

Lady Grammer Teacher

 

Pappu Mera Doodh nahi peeta hai,

is sentence mai Pappu Kya hai?

 

Pappu idiot hai, aap hame ek mauka de HUM nichod denge

 

 

 

Edited by xGameAnalyzeRx
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A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

 

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.

 

Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".

 

The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.

 

The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"

 

Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing! Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!":)

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Some Jokes on Laloo Prasad Yadav! :lol:

 

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he hadd been working on, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Laloo brags.

"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.

"YOU ARE A FOOL". Laloo replies. "SEE THIS NOTE ON THE BOX, IT READS - FOR 2-5YRS".

 

 

At a bar man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

 

 

After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper.

GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"

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I asked god:

Why my girlfriend loves a rose which dies in a day

 

But doesn't love me who dies for her every day? .......

 

 

God replied:- mast hai !! Facebook pe daal 😛

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HINDI SONGS & THEIR MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS

 

Jiya Jale jaan jale,

Raat bhar dhuan chale

-FEVER

 

Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi

-HEART ATTACK

 

Suhani raat dhal chuki ...naa jaane tum kab aoge

-CONSTIPATION

 

Bidi jalayle jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag he

-ACIDITY

 

Tujhme rab dikhta hai ..yaara main kya karoo

-CATARACT

 

Tuje yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna

-ALZHEIMER'S

 

Mann dole mera tann dole

-VERTIGO

 

Tip tip barsa paani,

paani ne aag lagayee

-URINARY INFECTION

 

Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh raha he..

-HYPERTENSION

 

Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen par nahi padte mere..

-CORN ON FEET

 

Haay re

haay Neend nahin aaye..

-INSOMNIA

 

Batana bi nahi aata, Chupana bi nahi aata..

-PILES

And Above All

 

Lagi Aaj Saawan ki phir woh Zadi he..

-LOOSE MOTION

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HINDI SONGS & THEIR MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS

 

Jiya Jale jaan jale,

Raat bhar dhuan chale

-FEVER

 

Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi

-HEART ATTACK

 

Suhani raat dhal chuki ...naa jaane tum kab aoge

-CONSTIPATION

 

Bidi jalayle jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag he

-ACIDITY

 

 

 

Tip tip barsa paani,

paani ne aag lagayee

-URINARY INFECTION

 

 

 

Batana bi nahi aata, Chupana bi nahi aata..

-PILES

And Above All

 

Lagi Aaj Saawan ki phir woh Zadi he..

-LOOSE MOTION

:lol:

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If Vijay Mallya gets into film

production..,

Kingfisher Productions (Films of Good Times)

Presents:

1) Soda Akbar

2) Rab Ne Pila di Thodi

3) Rum de basanti.

4) Hum tight ho chuke sanam

5)Beer Zaara

6)Bevde Zameen par..

7)kabhi whisky,kabhi rum

8)brandy rathore

10)3 drunkards

11)Ek tha kingfisher

&

12)Whisky donor

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Pappu

Aur Uski Girlfriend

Ek Din School Ke Ground Mein

Bethe The

.

Girlfriend Ne Kuch Sochte Hue

Pappu Se Puchha: “ Yaar,Ye Lal

Killa Lal Kyun

Hai? ” .

.

Pappu Bhi Majak Ke Mood Mein

Tha Bola.

“ Kyunki, Rajnikant Ne Paan

Kha Kar Us Par Pichkari MariThi,

.

.

Ab Ye Mat Puchhna Ki Taj

Mahal Safed Kyun Hai ?

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