AtheK Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 SPICY FACT: THE FIRST L GUARD IN CRICKET WAS USED IN 1874 AND FIRST HELMET IN 1974 IT TOOK 100 YRS FOR MEN TO REALIZE-BRAIN IS ALSO IMPORTANT !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThE JuGgErNaUT Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The GOAT Valentino Rossi46 Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 Some jokes on killing English....Applications/Leave 1. A student's leave letter: "As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage I cannot attend the class...." --------------------------------------------- 2. A candidate's application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist And an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post. --------------------------------------------- 3. I.T.I., Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave. --------------------------------------------- 4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave" --------------------------------------------- 5. A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today" --------------------------------------------- 6. An incident of a leave letter: "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday." --------------------------------------------- 7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day. --------------------------------------------- 8. A covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..." --------------------------------------------- 9. From H.A.L. Administration dept: As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave. --------------------------------------------- 10. Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At home I may be granted leave". --------------------------------------------- 11. Letter writing: "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well." --------------------------------------------- 12. Another gem from I.T.I. Leave-letter from an employee who was Performing his daughter's wedding: "As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave". 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gursimar991 Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 (edited) 1 handsome boy & a hot girl were going in a car for having fun. Suddenly rain started & both got wet. They found an empty hut & went inside. Girl had a nice figure & was luking awesome in her wet white T-shirt & denim shorts. Boy was also well built & was aroused by his gf's sexy body. He came close 2 her & wrapped his arms around her waist. He caught her close & put his hand on her wet waist & started lifting her wet T-shirt feeling her smooth skin. Girl put her hands on boy's shoulder & offered her lips 4 a kiss. To continue. Pay Rs 999 & enjoy the next episode of-Sawan barse hum tohar chummi ko tarse Santa Library Ja Kar Puchta Hai:"Suicide Karne Ke Tarike ka Book Hai Kya.. ?? . Librarian Ne Use Ghoor Ke Dekha Aur Puchha:"Wapas Karne Kon Aayega.. Edited January 22, 2013 by gs_RoXxX 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtheK Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 Husband and Wife had a Fight. Wife called Mom : He fought with me again, I am coming to you. Mom : No beta, he must pay for his mistake, I am coming to stay with You ************************ A husbands version: My wife is like "Terms & conditions" of a Website, I never understand what she says but I always accept.. )) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GameAnalyzer Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 Husband and Wife had a Fight. Wife called Mom : He fought with me again, I am coming to you. Mom : No beta, he must pay for his mistake, I am coming to stay with You :)/> ************************ A husbands version: My wife is like "Terms & conditions" of a Website, I never understand what she says but I always accept.. :)/>)) :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piper Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 From a friend's cell today : It gets better. Turns out his wife had used his phone to call up one of her friends. Needless to say, he managed to get himself in a tight situation there (I saw the messages that followed later).. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_Knight Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WMWM Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagarjalvi Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 happened to me 3 times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sameuun Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sachin... Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 1 handsome boy & a hot girl were going in a car for having fun. Suddenly rain started & both got wet. They found an empty hut & went inside. Girl had a nice figure & was luking awesome in her wet white T-shirt & denim shorts. Boy was also well built & was aroused by his gf's sexy body. He came close 2 her & wrapped his arms around her waist. He caught her close & put his hand on her wet waist & started lifting her wet T-shirt feeling her smooth skin. Girl put her hands on boy's shoulder & offered her lips 4 a kiss. To continue. Pay Rs 999 & enjoy the next episode of-Sawan barse hum tohar chummi ko tarse epic repped Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolfy among us Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Husband banned from Target After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target. Dear Mrs. Samsel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least: 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. ************************** 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtheK Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 rofl, old but gold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rohan Seth Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The GOAT Valentino Rossi46 Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 1. A man walks in a bank, gets in line and when it's his turn he pulls out a gun, and robs the bank. Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line, “Did you see me rob this bank?” The customer replies, “Yes!” The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the customer's head and BANG - shoots him in the head and kills him. He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, “Did You see me rob this bank?” The man calmly responds ... “No, but my wife did!” 2. BEFORE MARRIAGE: Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait! Wife - Do you want me to leave? Husband - No! Don't even think about it. Wife - Do you love me? Husband - Of course! Always have and always will! Wife - Have you ever cheated on me? Husband - No! Why are you even asking? Wife - Will you kiss me? Husband - Every chance I get! Wife - Will you hit me? Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?! Wife - Can I trust you? Husband - Yes. Wife - Darling! AFTER MARRIAGE: Read from bottom to top. and the Best one! A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours.” The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop and said, “About 3 hours.” The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop and said, “About an hour and half.” The guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said, “Hey, Bill, do me a favour. Follow that guy, and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn’t ever come back.” A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, “So, where does that guy go when he leaves here?” Bill looked up, choking on laughter, tears in his eyes, and said, “Your house.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skidred Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skidred Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtheK Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Height Of Extra Kameenapan: Baccha: Baap 15 Saal k Bete ka School bag Check kar Raha tha aur 1 Condom Mila. Baap - Sharam Nahi Aati Is umar mein bag Me ye Rakhta hai? Beta - To kya is Umar Me Baap Ban Jau? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skidred Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 (edited) Bartender-Why did the blonde get on the roof of the bar? Man-She heard drinks were on the house A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh? Edited January 23, 2013 by skidred Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.