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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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Says the guy who got sh*t faced and all emo, just last month.

 

Also you said, people here hate you, because they told you not to do these things. And you call them judgemental?

Who hates me?
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to all those who find smoking weed offensive. :punk:

 

 

 

:smokey: in your face :smokey:

 

 

edit: - on a serious note as long as they are not shoving it in your mouth or forcing you to do the same I guess you guys should pretty much mind your own business and post funny stuff over here.. People dont visit IVG for your opinion. No one is asking you to prove whats wrong or right or for your opinion..

Edited by Bhpian Bali
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19784_430945730323250_1966934023_n.jpg

 

<3 Stephen Fry.

 

 

Edit Can the rest of you nannering nancies stop dragging this thread down? No one cares about your hookers and blow stories. Take the incessant navel gazing to some other thread. Thx.

Edited by Aftrunner
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Aaj kal ke Dangerous Bache.. :O
.
Kid 1:"Mere papa itne tall hain k jump maar ke
helicopter pakad lete hain..
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Kid 2:"Mere papa b tall hain, lekin woh aisi bakchodi nahi karte... :P:D

 

 

 

Teacher : Akhbar kaun tha?

Rishabh: pta nhi
Teacher : padhai ki taraf dhyan diya karo..

Rishabh : Raj kaun hai?
Teacher : pta nahi
Rishabh : apni beti ki taraf dhyan dijiye :P

Edited by gs_RoXxX
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Roti Ka Ek Tukda Saat Seconds Ke Baad Pet Me Pahunchta Hai.


Insani Baal Teen Kg Tak Ka Wazan Utha Sakta Hai.


Har Mard Ke Penis Ki Lambai Uske Hath Ke Anguthe Se Double Hoti Hai.


Ladies Mardo Se Zyada Palkein Jhapkati Hai.


Aur Aapka Dhyaan Abhi Bhi Anguthe Pe Hai, Naap Le Beta Naap Le.

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to all those who find smoking weed offensive. :punk:

 

 

 

:smokey: in your face :smokey:

 

 

edit: - on a serious note as long as they are not shoving it in your mouth or forcing you to do the same I guess you guys should pretty much mind your own business and post funny stuff over here.. People dont visit IVG for your opinion. No one is asking you to prove whats wrong or right or for your opinion..

 

I dont think anybody said that smoking weed is offensive.. you can smoke as much as you want as long as its not giving somebody else any trouble.. the thing people (including me) are upset about is that these days it is considered COOL .. thats it :)

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<3 Stephen Fry.

 

 

Edit Can the rest of you nannering nancies stop dragging this thread down? No one cares about your hookers and blow stories. Take the incessant navel gazing to some other thread. Thx.

 

 

I am sure, there is a joke somewhere in it. Can someone brilliant enough try it?

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I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me...it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two. She wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and comitted my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn't say a word. She said," I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and quickly headed straight towards my car.

And Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said,"We are very happy that you have passed our little test...we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family son.

"The moral of the story is.... Always keep your condoms in your car! :P

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I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

 

There was only one little thing bothering me...it was her beautiful younger sister.

 

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two. She wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

 

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

 

She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and comitted my life to her sister.

 

Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn't say a word. She said," I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

 

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

 

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and quickly headed straight towards my car.

 

And Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

 

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said,"We are very happy that you have passed our little test...we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family son.

 

"The moral of the story is.... Always keep your condoms in your car! :P

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Read this on some other forum about a true life incident in some guy's life.. Unintentionally funny! :P

 

Cannot even comprehend what an idiot i acted like today , one bitch conned me out of 7000 rupees .

had a breakup and thought of trying these online dating sites .

so i met this girl on a online dating site , we chatted a bit . i had given her my number . today she called me that she want to **** me as shes getting married and leaving india tonight so before going she wants to do it . met her in saket mall and though the pic she had online was different she still was very hot and she also found me hot as i am myself also attractive . she said lets go to leela ggn as she also has a coupon for it ,we took a cab from outside select citywalk and making out like crazy with her all the way , went to leela and she said she wanted to totally discreet so we cant go inside together , first i go then shel go and meet me in a restaurent there . i paid her 7000 so she can check in and get the cards and meet me in lobby /restaurant .i waited 1.5 hours ! bitch stole my money .

she clearly had done this before as she descibed leela perfectly like where to sit n wait etc. etc. now phone switched off !!!

 

cant do anythng now , and 4000 rs i borrowed frm a frnd as at evening i didnt hav money and was expecting some next month only . i dont eve work n am doin an mba so its huge amount . wish i had paid heed to the signs and used logic than thinking with my dick

Edited by mshingore
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