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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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That son of a bitch thing - actually happened with me.

 

Called a friend and said "kyu be kutte kaisa hain?" His mom had actually received the call and replied "Oh you want Annirudha? Hold on.. "

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Ek Boy ne marriage bureau pe phone kiya : MERE DONO HAATH AUR PAV NAHI HAI......KYA MERI SHAADI HO SAKTI HAI?
Lady : apka WOH tho hai na??
Boy : phir DIAL kisse kya hai behen ki l***i?

____________________________________________________

 

A very IMPORTANT msg from GOD TO ALL WOMEN lying under somebody in bed & Screaming.....
OH MY GOD.....
OH GOD.....
OH GOD.....
Will not be CONSIDERED as PRAYER.....

____________________________________________________

Galib ki Girl Frnd 4 Ghante tak nahi aayi tab Galib ne Ek Sher Arz Kiya
Hadd ho gayi yaar Intezar ki
Hadd ho gayi yar Intezar ki

.......

.......

.......

.......

Maa ki ch**t Aise Pyar Ki..!!

____________________________________________________

Santa ro raha tha.

Lady- kya hua?

Santa - maine kabhi nahi li....

Lady- ro mat, meri lele,

After sex santa hansne laga.

Lady - kyo hans rahe ho?

Santa - maine ro ro k pura Mohala CH*D diya.

____________________________________________________

In a bus.....
Girl-Im pregnant, plz give me seat?
Seat dene k baad
Boy - dekhne me to pregnant nhi lagti.
Girl - Abhi kaise lagungi? 1 ghante pehle hi to ch**i hoon.

Edited by snorkel4u
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Two software engineers happened to be very close friends.

One day, while sitting in a restaurant and having coffee,

one friend asked the other..

"howz your relationship with that new G/f going"?

The other guy "i forgot to mention, yesterday she came to my house".

Friend: WOW!!! What happened then.. tell me the full story...

Man: Well.. i played her favorite music and we danced.

Friend: Then what happened..??

Man: Well.. as we were dancing together.. we kissed...

Friend: then what... keep going...

Man: Well.. i picked her up in my arms and placed her on the table.. next to my new laptop..

Friend: You got a New Lapotop.... When...???

Man: Just last week... my parents gifted me one...

Friend: Wow!! What configuration... ??

Man: 500GB harddisk, 8 GB ram.. 4.3GH processor... ........

Friend: Does it have an HDMI port?

Man: Yes

Friend: A blu-ray burner?

Man: Yes

Friend: AWESOME DUDE..!!!

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Two software engineers happened to be very close friends.

One day, while sitting in a restaurant and having coffee,

one friend asked the other..

"howz your relationship with that new G/f going"?

The other guy "i forgot to mention, yesterday she came to my house".

Friend: WOW!!! What happened then.. tell me the full story...

Man: Well.. i played her favorite music and we danced.

Friend: Then what happened..??

Man: Well.. as we were dancing together.. we kissed...

Friend: then what... keep going...

Man: Well.. i picked her up in my arms and placed her on the table.. next to my new laptop..

Friend: You got a New Lapotop.... When...???

Man: Just last week... my parents gifted me one...

Friend: Wow!! What configuration... ??

Man: 500GB harddisk, 8 GB ram.. 4.3GH processor... ........

Friend: Does it have an HDMI port?

Man: Yes

Friend: A blu-ray burner?

Man: Yes

Friend: AWESOME DUDE..!!!

Talk about beating around the bush :P if you know what I mean.

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Agar Kutton Ka T.v Pr 1 Channel Ho Toh..,Socho Usme Serials Ke Nam Kuch Aise Honge.



>>Yahan Main Ghr Ghr Bhonki,


.


>>Kaat Khana Sathiya,


.


>>Agle Janam Mohe Pilla Hi Kijo,


.


>>Afsar Kutiya


.


>>D.o.g


.


.>>Is Pille Ko Kya Naam Du.


.


>>Bade kutte ache Lagte Hai


.


>>Dance Kutiya Dance


.


>>Pavitra kutiya


.


>>Kutiya Vadhu


.


>>Kutta Wahi, Kutiya Nayi..:) :-D



##########



Principal - "Apne bachche ko jara tameez sikhao aap "


.


.


Parent - "Kya hua ..?"


.


.


.


Principal - " Application Form ke Sex wale column me


likha hai - 'kabhi 'moka' hi nahi mila'..."….




##########



Santa Ek Din Interview Dene Gaya To Us Se Ek Question Pucha Gaya



Interviewer: “Aapko Kitne Saalo Ka Tajurba Hai?”



Santa: “Sir Ji, Juth Nahi Bolunga Par Salo Pe Mene Kabhi Try Nahi Kiya, Par Apni 3 Saliyo Ka Tajurba Jarur Hai.

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Lady Teacher - Bachho batao Samosa or kachori me kya fark hai?

1 Shaitan Bachha bola - Madam Bra pehenogi to Samosa dikhega...... Nahi pehenogi to kachori :)

 

ROFL!

 

 

Ek lift pe 2 notice likhe the-

"Ladies ka khas khayal rakhe.."

or us k neeche likha tha-

"1 bar me 6 se zyada Aadmi na chadhe"

_______________________________________________________

 

A man & girl started s*x in a park in dark night. After 15min man says,"agar torch hoti 2 maza a jata.
Girl - Mujhe bhi, kyonki 15min se tum ghas main gaddha khod rahe ho.

 

Edited by snorkel4u
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Imagine Name of Sex Minister

world wide

 

Name of Russian sex Minister

Zaberdasti Boobpresski

 

SriLankan sex Minister

Suck MyLingam

 

Chinese sex Minstr

Gand Soong Li

 

Pak sex Minstr

Shake Myboob

 

Indian sex minister

Gotya lal

 

Kenya sex min쳴er

Ogand me bambu

 

sex minister of america

Roz mary marlow

 

Sex minister of England

Brown a*s markele

 

Sex minister of bangladesh

myboob aa shake hasina

 

Sex minister of S.Arabia

shake bin maki ch*th abu da lulla.

Edited by Bhushan
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Two software engineers happened to be very close friends.

One day, while sitting in a restaurant and having coffee,

one friend asked the other..

"howz your relationship with that new G/f going"?

The other guy "i forgot to mention, yesterday she came to my house".

Friend: WOW!!! What happened then.. tell me the full story...

Man: Well.. i played her favorite music and we danced.

Friend: Then what happened..??

Man: Well.. as we were dancing together.. we kissed...

Friend: then what... keep going...

Man: Well.. i picked her up in my arms and placed her on the table.. next to my new laptop..

Friend: You got a New Lapotop.... When...???

Man: Just last week... my parents gifted me one...

Friend: Wow!! What configuration... ??

Man: 500GB harddisk, 8 GB ram.. 4.3GH processor... ........

Friend: Does it have an HDMI port?

Man: Yes

Friend: A blu-ray burner?

Man: Yes

Friend: AWESOME DUDE..!!!

 

Ye wahi dono bande tthe na jinhein Ramcharan ke bodyguards ne dhoya tha ?? :P

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