Jump to content
Please support IVG when you shop at Amazon

Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread

Chaztin

By Chaztin,
in General Chatter

 Share

Recommended Posts

Aftrunner Newbie

Aftrunner

Posted
Posted

This one is a bit long but stay with me.

 

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

 

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

 

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

 

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

 

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

 

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

 

Harry: '9.'

 

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

 

Harry: '36.'

 

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

 

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

 

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

 

The principal and Harry both agreed.

 

Ms .. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

 

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

 

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

 

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

 

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

 

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

 

Harry: 'Pants.'

 

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'

 

Harry: 'Coconut.'

 

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

 

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

 

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

 

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

 

 

The principal was trembling.

 

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

 

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

 

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,

 

'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AtheK Grand Master

AtheK

Posted
Posted

though this is a sensitive topic and does not deserver to be here but for me i just did not want to craete a new thread so read on..

 

I didn't know about attacks on Hotel Taj, Hotel Oberoi: Kasab

 

 

Ajmal Kasab [ Images ], the lone terrorist arrested during the terror attack on Mumbai [ Images ] in November 2008, on Friday told a special court hearing the 26/11 terror case that he was not aware of the attacks at Hotel Taj, Hotel Oberoi, Nariman House and Leopold Cafe [ Images ] in Mumbai.

 

"I also do not know the people who had fired and exploded bombs at these places on November 26, 2008," Kasab said in reply to questions put to him by Judge M L Tahiliyani on evidence presented by the prosecution against him.

 

Kasab said he did not know that more people had been killed in firing and less in bomb blasts at Hotel Taj, Oberoi and Nariman House. He also denied knowledge that foreign nationals including those from Japan [ Images ], United States, France [ Images ], Italy [ Images ] and Israel had been killed in the terror attacks.

 

Kasab further said he was not aware that several victims had filed affidavits saying they were injured in terror attacks at Chhatrapati Shivaji terminus [ Images ], Hotel Taj, Hotel Oberoi, Cama Hospital [ Images ] and Nariman House.

 

To a question on whether he was aware that Israeli nationals had died in the terror attack at Nariman House, Kasab said, "Mujhe pata Nahin (I do not know)." He also feigned ignorance about the blast at a petrol pump near Nariman House and said he was not aware that both the places were located close to each other.

 

Kasab said he did not know that fishing trawler M V Kuber was registered at Porbander and was found on the Mumbai coast on the day of the terror attack. He also denied knowledge that the trawler's navigator Amarsing Solanki and four crew members had sailed in Kuber from Porbander but did not return.

 

Asked whether he was aware that four crew members were reported missing, Kasab said, "I do not know who killed them."

 

This prompted Judge Tahaliyani to ask Kasab, "If you do not know whether they were missing, then how can you arrive at a conclusion that they were killed?"

 

According to the prosecution, Kasab and his associates had murdered Solanki and the four crew members and thrown their bodies in the sea.

 

When the court drew his attention to the evidence of the principal of a Bengaluru [ Images ] college, saying that the identity card which bore Kasab's photo was fake, the Pakistani national said, "Mujhe pata nahin (I do not know)."

 

Kasab also denied knowledge about the taxi blast at Mazgaon. The prosecution has charged him with planting a bomb in a taxi, which killed three persons. A total of 1,141 questions have been put to Kasab until now and the court would take two more days next week to conclude his statement before taking up the same exercise with co-accused Faheem Ansari and Sabauddin Ahmed.

 

© Copyright 2010 PTI. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of PTI content, including by framing or similar means, is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent.

http://news.rediff.com/report/2010/jan/15/...-says-kasab.htm

 

 

 

saala indian judicial system is such a joke

Link to comment
Share on other sites
93bullets Newbie

93bullets

Posted
Posted (edited)

pj

 

 

sardar had a dream that a girls slaps him

 

for the next two days sardar doesnt go to bank....why?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

kyonki bank mein likha tha

hum aapke sapno ko haqueequat mein badalte hai

 

:thumbsup: heard poorer jokes

Edited by 93bullets
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...