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Jokes and Funny Stuff Thread


Chaztin
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Done Deal : Cristiano Ronaldo signs for Manchester United..

 

Amazing it is , never in my life I thought that one day I'll be seeing Ronaldo glamouring at Old Trafford once again.

 

His last season at Utd was just a smokescreen of "I want out" as he wanted to play for Real Madrid to fulfill his childhood dream.

 

UNBELIEVABLE!! I'm just sweating at the moment , filled with so much joy which others can not even think of.

 

Half of the Premier League would be sh*ting their pants just after seeing the line-up.

 

Front attack of Manchester United will now be scary , f**king unbelievable. not only are we favourites in the Premier League but also one of the serious contenders in Europe..

 

Congrats to all the United fans

 

Just one bad news ,

I forgot to save my Career Mode just after the signing was made

 

:ha:

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Freaky Wife: How would you like to get a RIM JOB??

Developer Husband: I would love to, but I dont think Blackberry is hiring right now!

 

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SUPER NON VEG JOKE ALERT !!!

 

Pappu ko OLX par ek motorcycle dikhi jo ki ekdum nayi dikhti thi aur ekdum sasti bhi thi.

Wo motorcycle dekhne gaya aur uske maalik se poocha, "Aapki bike itni nayi jaisi kaise hai?"

Maalik bola, "Dekho, hamesha vaseline ki ek dibbi apne paas rakhna aur jaise hi baarish aye usse pehle bike par vaseline mal dena. Bike hamesha naye jaisi rahegi."

 

Pappu ko baat janch gayi aur sauda pat gaya. Turant hi Pappu ke pass uski GF ka call aya, aur usne bola ki uske gharwale usse milna chahte hain. Pappu apni nayi bike aur vaseline ki complimentary dibbi lekar apni GF ke ghar pahuncha.

 

GF ghar ke baahar ayi aur usne Pappu ko ek condition batayi, "Mere ghar main ek game chalta hai, ki jo bhi khaane ke wakt bolta hai usey pooray ghar ke bartan dhonay padte hain. Manzoor hai toh andar chalo aur mere gharwalon ke saath lunch karo."

 

Pappu ne socha, "Ismein konsi badi baat hai?" aur andar chala gaya. Andar jaakar wo kya dekhta hai ki pooray ghar main joothay bartano ka dher laga hua hau. GF ka baap, uski maa aur behen khaane ki table par baithe tthe, aur khana laga hua tha. Koi kuch nahi bola aur Pappu unke saath table par baith gaya.

 

Khana shuru hua aur koi kuch nahi bol raha tha. Tabhi Pappu ko idea aya, aur usne apni GF ko kiss karna shuru kar diya. Aur jald hi wo dono table par hi sex karne lage.

 

Koi kuch nahi bola!

 

GF ke saath sex karne ke baad, Pappu ne GF ki behen ko pakda aur uske saath sex kiya,

 

Koi kuch nahi bola.

GF ki behen ke baad Pappu ne uski maa ko pakda aur ragad diya.

 

Koi kuch nahi bola.

 

Jaise hi Pappu ne GF ki maa ke saath sex karna khatm kiya, zor se baarish honay lagi. Pappu ne ghabra kar apni pant uthayi aur usmein se vaseline ki dibbi baahar nikali.

 

 

GF ka baap achanak khada hua aur cheekha, "THEEK HAI! THEEK HAI! MAIN SAARE BARTAN DHO DUNGA!"

 

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