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Funny moments for Doctors

 

From Bubblejive

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1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs -and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald

 

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes

 

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

Submitted by! Dr. Susan Steinberg

 

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one? " I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six ours and now I'm running out of places to put It!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair

 

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion She answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson

 

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf

 

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

Submitted by RN no name

 

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"

She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I was an Oscar MeyerWiener'!".

Dr. wouldn't submit his name

____________________________________________________________

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A job fair in China

 

From

http://www.stockmarketslive.com/job-fair-in-china/10/

____________________________________________________________________

 

china1tz9.jpg

 

china2il7.jpg

 

china3mf3.jpg

 

china4jc5.jpg

____________________________________________________________________

 

:shock3:

 

If only the cameraman had a few extra grenades he needed to get rid of.

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A job fair in China

 

From

http://www.stockmarketslive.com/job-fair-in-china/10/

____________________________________________________________________

 

china1tz9.jpg

 

china2il7.jpg

 

china3mf3.jpg

 

china4jc5.jpg

____________________________________________________________________

 

:shock3:

 

Reminds me of Zombie games, the crowded Mall " Dead rising "!!

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Almost got PWND by my Financial Management exam a few days ago...damn paper setters...everything was totally unexpected and outta the ordinary!!

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Funny moments for Doctors

 

From Bubblejive

_______________________________________________________________________

 

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs -and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald

 

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes

 

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

Submitted by! Dr. Susan Steinberg

 

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one? " I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six ours and now I'm running out of places to put It!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair

 

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion She answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson

 

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf

 

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

Submitted by RN no name

 

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"

She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I was an Oscar MeyerWiener'!".

Dr. wouldn't submit his name

____________________________________________________________

#2 is gr8.. reminds me of patients who have hearing problems and keep on giving funny answers to our queries when we r trying to dig out the history of disease. and the one here is a classic---'breasts' for 'breaths' too funny :roflroll2:

#7 is the best but still i m confused that why there was a need to remove pubic hair for performing an appendectomy. may be it was a surgeon's own prank :threatenlumber:

hmm if i'll be a surgeon which i wanna be, i won't be doing any surgeries after playing Gory games. who knows what may happen and an additional point 9 may be added to the above list. :rofl2:

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A job fair in China

 

From

http://www.stockmarketslive.com/job-fair-in-china/10/

____________________________________________________________________

 

china1tz9.jpg

 

china2il7.jpg

 

china3mf3.jpg

 

china4jc5.jpg

____________________________________________________________________

 

:shock3:

 

Reminds me of Zombie games, the crowded Mall " Dead rising "!!

let's smash a jar containing wasp i.e. zombie queen here :threatenlumber:

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bomb blasts in courts in lucknow, varanasi and faisabad (all in UP)

 

at least 5 killed

 

 

 

peace

 

tell me abt it...was in meerut yesterday.....was driving back to del in the nite and the whole place was on red alert...!! police all arnd and the roads were very deserted by UP standards..!! took me less than 2 hrs to reach del (usually takes 3 coz of the crowded cities in between)...

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