Nemo Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 No offence but I cringe to see youngsters resonating grandma's mindset.. Okay there are many things taboo in our society but we are the generation of today and we can decide not to follow baseless taboos. Less cringing more introspection ma'm. Sorry for generalization but when i see these kind of preachy posts all i hear "Here, look at me, I want eveyone to have a free and open minded spirit but damn if that open mindedness is not aligned to my definition of freedom". Its good to allow people to follow what they believe in, and not blindly go by what their elders tell them, but at its extreme is dismissing somone's beliefs as archaic and loony because they dont fit in the "modern" ideology even though the they themselves are at ease with it; and frankly, that is just asinine. Seriously, how can some one say some cultural norms are baseless taboos if the person subjected to them voluntarily accepts it (and ofcourse, provided the norms arent hurting anyone, so dont assume that i am advocating stuff like Sati). This is just akin to west taking it upon itself to 'liberate' asian women from burka/purdah, with a straight line assumption that every woman covering herself is being forced against her will. Its a conflict and lack of understanding of cultures and can best be represented by- 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razpor Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 ^+1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 Good point. Not everything is about being closed minded. At least some of it can be attributed to our culture and values. Our culture is actually one of a kind. Too bad that the same values have been twisted into some kind of dogma over time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Boss Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 This thread is derailed BTW I broke almost all Indian taboos by marrying. Love marriage (1st in my family since generations or LIKE EVER), different language, different caste, different state, elder girl EVERYTHING. Only thing that I missed was different religion. Also both our families are hardcore orthodox. Thanks to us, now almost everyone is open to future love marriages (my elder cousins had their dreams shattered when our family shot down their idea of love marriage and married them to someone else) So yeah, Been there done that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemo Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 True, Dogma is bad, but over zealous liberation is equally harming. What we should cultivate is an independent thinking, people should be made aware of both view points and then should be allowed to go with what ever they like as long as its not causing visible and reasonable discomfort to others. Some times in name of protecting the right of freedom we poke our noses where its not really required because we feel its our moral duty to free others from what we perceive as darkness I will give you a real life example. Last year, in a nondescript village in a district (Baghpat) in west UP (bordering Haryana and Delhi) the panchayat advised the local women to order restrain in clothing and have a rational thought before jumping in matrimony, the media wasted no time in brandishing it as a KHAP DIKTAT, equating it with Talibanisation of India. http://www.timesnow.tv/Khaps-open-dare-HM-hits-back/articleshow/4406276.cms And soon, every news channel, paper jumped on the bandwagon, ever freaking BBC (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-18824367) had their opinions of. It was not long before the NCW and Union Home Minister involved themselves assuring everyone that no rights would be trampled upon. What really happened was that the panchayat and village elders had met together to discuss about a loval marrige gone sour (the couple had a Love marrige against the families' wish and now that the puppy love had worn off after few months, they were finding each other incompatible- cue daily fights, etc). The panchayat had just advised women to tie the knot after considering all factors- financial, educational, etc apart from just Love and a few other guidelines. It was a harmless suggestion- the village, though having a predominat jat population and sharing border with Haryana, had never had a history of violent khaps and the advise was in no way a doctrine; but jholachaap, self proclaiming champions of modern India convoluted it in the absolute worst way possible. Very few in media reported the views from the panchayat's side, a notable example- http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/article3640433.ece ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have the first had account of the situation as my dad was the district police chief (superintendent) of Baghpat at that time- has his name there in the first article; and he told me everything and as per him, people who have no idea about village culture in north west india take no time in painting every thing with the same brush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GameAnalyzer Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) This thread makes me sad. Although, I never had a gf but still. Edited February 25, 2013 by xGameAnalyzeRx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sackboy Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 I am dating a Christian girl right now, my parents are cool with it My parents also had a love marriage but they were of the same caste and sh*t. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ph3N0M Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 Am I the only one here who noticed that post no. 4137 had Razpor's name on the quote box, instead of Ram Dante's? Another bug in the new forum software. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AflyingKiwi Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 For all those who think by marrying to ur love make ur parents liable to society is really sad, what I have understood from life I untill now is no one f**king care what u do in life if u are on ur feet and have the courage and guys to standoff against all the so called soceity keeprs its a diffrent story if u r not that financially equipped than u have to make sure that ur love is true and and there is no one can take u appart from ur love than I m sure that even the parents understand ur feelings and respect them. Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seriosia Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 its been 2 and half years..but now i guess im fine..but still i find tears n ma eyes whn i think abt her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egg man Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 This thread is derailed BTW I broke almost all Indian taboos by marrying. Love marriage (1st in my family since generations or LIKE EVER), different language, different caste, different state, elder girl EVERYTHING. Only thing that I missed was different religion. Also both our families are hardcore orthodox. Thanks to us, now almost everyone is open to future love marriages (my elder cousins had their dreams shattered when our family shot down their idea of love marriage and married them to someone else) So yeah, Been there done that. Respect for you, bro!! I , for one, do not get why one should sacrifice one's love for parent's sake. For me, a parent's job should be to make their child happy and support and guide them and not rule over them. What is more important? To be with someone you love, or satisfy society's baseless and old requirement ? So what if people object to inter-caste marriage and age difference and all other baseless stuff? I , for one, won't care. Indian people love to interfere and gossip on other's life. They seek pleasure in other's misery. Somehow they feel good by gossiping about others. So when you marry someone who doesn't meet their criteria, it just give them another point. Most of the people or relatives who'll gossip wouldn't have been love married. Even if they ever found love , probably didn't have the balls to make it to the end. It's not worth answering to them. They're gonna talk about it and move on with their lives. Sacrificing your love for that and settle for a mediocre life? Not worth it. In all probabilities, you will have to live with our spouse for 50+ years. Better live with someone you love . I agree, many parents would have to get through some humiliations . But seriously, people who don't support you and becomes a hinder in such important thing like marriage, aren't worth caring for. :rantover: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ram Dante Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 This thread is derailed BTW I broke almost all Indian taboos by marrying. Love marriage (1st in my family since generations or LIKE EVER), different language, different caste, different state, elder girl EVERYTHING. Only thing that I missed was different religion. Also both our families are hardcore orthodox. Thanks to us, now almost everyone is open to future love marriages (my elder cousins had their dreams shattered when our family shot down their idea of love marriage and married them to someone else) So yeah, Been there done that. I am dating a Christian girl right now, my parents are cool with it My parents also had a love marriage but they were of the same caste and sh*t. Good for you guys. For all those who think by marrying to ur love make ur parents liable to society is really sad, what I have understood from life I untill now is no one f**king care what u do in life if u are on ur feet and have the courage and guys to standoff against all the so called soceity keeprs its a diffrent story if u r not that financially equipped than u have to make sure that ur love is true and and there is no one can take u appart from ur love than I m sure that even the parents understand ur feelings and respect them. Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk 2 Yeah what you say is true, I sincerely don't give a f*ck to what others say either, as long as it is only about me. I've been very close to my family until now, and will be forever, so whatever I decide to do, shouldn't affect that in anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razpor Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 its been 2 and half years..but now i guess im fine..but still i find tears n ma eyes whn i think abt her Dont worry about it bro....life will give you thousands time more to cheer than to mourn. And why mourn and be sad for something that wasnt yours anyway....just live the way you should...these things would not matter in the long run.Your life is yours ...dont carry on a baggage that isnt yours... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosh Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 This thread is derailed BTW I broke almost all Indian taboos by marrying. Love marriage (1st in my family since generations or LIKE EVER), different language, different caste, different state, elder girl EVERYTHING. Only thing that I missed was different religion. Also both our families are hardcore orthodox. Thanks to us, now almost everyone is open to future love marriages (my elder cousins had their dreams shattered when our family shot down their idea of love marriage and married them to someone else) So yeah, Been there done that. The rock indeed Mad pros for pulling that off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Params7 Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) In many societies it is still taboo to marry a girl who's older than you, 2-3 years, or even 6 months for that matter. I know a couple of relationships which broke up because parents were un willing to accept just because the girl was elder. I feel sorry for people who need to have everything in their lives confirmed by their parents even after adulthood. I'm not against arrange marriage - arranged marriages are actually a wonderful thing because both sincerely co-operate for one another - but not dating a chick older than you even if you two get along, just because your parents is so mindnumbingly ridiculous. Edited February 26, 2013 by Params7 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Params7 Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Less cringing more introspection ma'm. Sorry for generalization but when i see these kind of preachy posts all i hear "Here, look at me, I want eveyone to have a free and open minded spirit but damn if that open mindedness is not aligned to my definition of freedom". Its good to allow people to follow what they believe in, and not blindly go by what their elders tell them, but at its extreme is dismissing somone's beliefs as archaic and loony because they dont fit in the "modern" ideology even though the they themselves are at ease with it; and frankly, that is just asinine. Seriously, how can some one say some cultural norms are baseless taboos if the person subjected to them voluntarily accepts it (and ofcourse, provided the norms arent hurting anyone, so dont assume that i am advocating stuff like Sati). This is just akin to west taking it upon itself to 'liberate' asian women from burka/purdah, with a straight line assumption that every woman covering herself is being forced against her will. Its a conflict and lack of understanding of cultures and can best be represented by- There's something very funadementally wrong with that picture, in my opinion. Burkhas are a spawn of the Islamic Religion-state, women didn't just decide to fashion it for themsevles and wear it for whatever reasons. The fashion was enforced by law, eventually time ingrained the style of thinking deep into their culture. The key thing here is freedom - to dress how you want. If the burkha women is actually sincerely repulsed by wearing anything else outside, good for her and she should be allowed to. At the same time, if her sister wants to dress more "normally", absolutely nothing wrong with that, important thing here is she shouldn't be forced by religion or law. India is on the right style of thinking there compared to other pure Islamic states but its not quite there yet. We heard about fatwa on the all girls band, we know women want to try more western fashion but can't due taboos inforced by culture. This is just a pure example of oppresion, however you cut it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ram Dante Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) I feel sorry for people who need to have everything in their lives confirmed by their parents even after adulthood. I'm not against arrange marriage - arranged marriages are actually a wonderful thing because both sincerely co-operate for one another - but not dating a chick older than you even if you two get along, just because your parents is so mindnumbingly ridiculous. *Looks at location, silently walks away* Edited February 26, 2013 by Ram Dante Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man In The Box Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 @ Ram Dante Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolfy among us Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 *Looks at location, silently walks away* Exactly.! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sackboy Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 *Looks at location, silently walks away* What is it? Can't see on phone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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