KnackChap Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Megz, can i have your number? Edit: don't need it now Just saw your age OMG!! :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praveer Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) Did it ever occur to you that she was simply having fun with you the whole time? no cause I've seen her show genuine concern for me, can't really explain it but it was genuine. Why did you risk getting attached to someone who's already mentioned she had a boyfriend for years together? And i bet she never told you that she had any intention to leave her boyfriend in the near future. The problem is with you. You made the mistake of assuming that you could settle with a girl who's already in a relationship did you even read what I said? I never knew she had one. Piece of advice - Compared to the rest of the world, indian women are extremely hypocritical and will never openly admit to being gold-digging blood Hounds she isn't Indian. Edited August 13, 2011 by praveer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madmage Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Megz has transformed into our resident behenji kya.. lol lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pixeljunkie Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 no cause I've seen her show genuine concern for me, can't really explain it but it was genuine. Genuine? Ok ... What you see as "Genuine Concern" is something she doesn't take seriously. There are people out there who don't see the world the way you do. did you even read what I said? I never knew she had one. Ok. I guess i interpreted your OP incorrectly. Let me ask you one question? What exactly was racing through your mind the moment she mentioned she had a boyfriend? she isn't Indian. Ok, i didn't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praveer Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) Genuine? Ok ... What you see as "Genuine Concern" is something she doesn't take seriously. There are people out there who don't see the world the way you do. As I said, it's quite hard to explain...but I know it was genuine. Let me ask you one question? What exactly was racing through your mind the moment she mentioned she had a boyfriend? I was blank. I kinda feel glad and sad that she went back to Iran for her vacations, sad cause I liked talking to her/spending time with her and glad cause not seeing her everyday would make it easier for me to recover. Edited August 13, 2011 by praveer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supersim Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Megz, can i have your number? Edit: don't need it now Just saw your age wtf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pixeljunkie Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 As I said, it's quite hard to explain...but I know it was genuine. Oh dear! ... What you think or feel isn't the same as what goes on in her head. There are people in this world who can be all rosy and lovey-dovey one moment only to drop you like a hot rock the next. Never fool yourself into thinking that someone cares for you to the same extent as you do. Be happy that she came clean instead of leading you on even further. I know you might disagree with me on the "leading on" bit, but that's the way i see things from where i stand. I was blank. I kinda feel glad and sad that she went back to Iran for her vacations, sad cause I liked talking to her/spending time with her and glad cause not seeing her everyday would make it easier for me to recover. Didn't you feel angry at her for having not told you that she had a boyfriend for 4-5 years during the time you spent with each other? Any self-respecting guy would! But there is a way to win her back. If she still calls you every now and then, sound disinterested. Ignore her at every given chance when you're around her. When she confronts you about it then tell her that she was the one who turned you down. Make it clear you've moved on. Act convincingly. If she's upset that you've moved on, she'll then respond by calling you even more. At that juncture, put your foot down, tell her that you love her and you're angry with her for having shot you down. Tell her you don't mind if she's only "friends" with her soon to be ex-boyfriend. If she agrees then i wish you good luck bro! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dabba Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 different strokes for different folks pixel.... 1. perhaps praveer has kept certain details to himself.... so we should not judge whether the feelings were genuine or not 2. perhaps the topic of bf/gf, r u currently seeing anyone never came up in their discussions.... so self respecting guys do not really have to feel angry about it.... the way i see it... form what has been shared... praveer fell for a gal, who possibly might have had certain feelings for him as well... but then at the last minute remembers that she is already in a long term relationship... it's just that at the time the distance was a factor n she was looking for a close friend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dabba Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 not that i have the greatest experience with regards to relationships.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pixeljunkie Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 different strokes for different folks pixel.... 1. perhaps praveer has kept certain details to himself.... so we should not judge whether the feelings were genuine or not 2. perhaps the topic of bf/gf, r u currently seeing anyone never came up in their discussions.... so self respecting guys do not really have to feel angry about it.... the way i see it... form what has been shared... praveer fell for a gal, who possibly might have had certain feelings for him as well... but then at the last minute remembers that she is already in a long term relationship... it's just that at the time the distance was a factor n she was looking for a close friend 1. In Praveer's case the truth lies in the Big Picture and not the details. Praveer needs to accept the hard truth; the fact that he was being lead on, before he further sinks into denial by telling himself that she genuinely cared for him. 2. If that's the case then they're just friends. Praveer should've not let his guard down by expecting more. Its his fault for his current predicament. Bold text -- that sentence cracked me up real good!!! not that i have the greatest experience with regards to relationships.... You don't have to be so darn modest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praveer Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) 1. In Praveer's case the truth lies in the Big Picture and not the details. Praveer needs to accept the hard truth; the fact that he was being lead on, before he further sinks into denial by telling himself that she genuinely cared for him. You don't understand, when I said she genuinely cared for me I meant to say that she cared for me as a friend I never said that she was hinting that she liked me. The circumstances under which she did that was not at all normal and any person who showed a fake sense of care wouldn't have cared about it at all when they are themselves in a problem bigger than the problem experienced by a person who they are trying to help/console (me). I am keeping these details to myself so you have to believe me on this one. 2. If that's the case then they're just friends. Praveer should've not let his guard down by expecting more. Its his fault for his current predicament. I'll give you that and I regret it. But there is a way to win her back. If she still calls you every now and then, sound disinterested. Ignore her at every given chance when you're around her. When she confronts you about it then tell her that she was the one who turned you down. Make it clear you've moved on. Act convincingly. If she's upset that you've moved on, she'll then respond by calling you even more. At that juncture, put your foot down, tell her that you love her and you're angry with her for having shot you down. Tell her you don't mind if she's only "friends" with her soon to be ex-boyfriend. If she agrees then i wish you good luck bro! If she's happy with her long distance relationship then I don't wanna be an a*s by trying to squeeze in and break it. I'm here for 3 years, she's here for 5...if there is anything supposed to happen then it'll happen on its own. Which is why I'll move on, it'll take a while but I can indulge myself in activities for the next 1 month to forget about this, so that when I do meet her next month it won't be as awkward. I am very confident and open minded when talking with any woman which is why I make good friends with them very easily, but at the same time I'm extremely timid if I talk to one who I have feelings for which is why I am poor in relationship department. And yea no drinking for now cause if I do then its gonna make it worse..lol Didn't you feel angry at her for having not told you that she had a boyfriend for 4-5 years during the time you spent with each other? Any self-respecting guy would! I never bought that topic up while talking and neither did she. Edited August 13, 2011 by praveer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LagWarriorZergey Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 By the look of it.. u mistook caring for being in love.. u never declared ur feelings (correct me if am wrong) anytime before and the moment u did she told u she got a bf which is normal as she may not have seen as u saw her (bf/gf). try to avoid that next time, if u like a girl (like a girl), give her glimpses that u r interested datin her, dnt wait to long to tell her wut u expect, the sooner the better remember, so tat u quickly know where u stand and how to carry the relation forward (as friends or potential bf/gf) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pixeljunkie Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 You don't understand, when I said she genuinely cared for me I meant to say that she cared for me as a friend I never said that she was hinting that she liked me. The circumstances under which she did that was not at all normal and any person who showed a fake sense of care wouldn't have cared about it at all when they are themselves in a problem bigger than the problem experienced by a person who they are trying to help/console (me). I am keeping these details to myself so you have to believe me on this one. Women are a lot more emotionally stronger than us men. This is because they always find ways to unload emotional baggage more often than us guys. Your friend's emotional outlet is to care for someone. My sincere advice is to take her caring nature at face value. You'll recover faster when you fully accept this fact. I'll give you that and I regret it. Acceptance is good If she's happy with her long distance relationship then I don't wanna be an a*s by trying to squeeze in and break it. I'm here for 3 years, she's here for 5...if there is anything supposed to happen then it'll happen on its own. Which is why I'll move on, it'll take a while but I can indulge myself in activities for the next 1 month to forget about this, so that when I do meet her next month it won't be as awkward. I am very confident and open minded when talking with any woman which is why I make good friends with them very easily, but at the same time I'm extremely timid if I talk to one who I have feelings for which is why I am poor in relationship department. And yea no drinking for now cause if I do then its gonna make it worse..lol You have feelings for her yet you don't want to fight for her? Stop being the nice guy or else the next girl you meet will walk all over you too. I never bought that topic up while talking and neither did she. Atleast now you'll realize you should've. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ash_ Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 sab hastey jaa rahey ho koi rep toh kardo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praveer Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) Atleast now you'll realize you should've. Perhaps I was afraid of the inevitable, if I did then I'd be in this position much earlier and that would've been better. You have feelings for her yet you don't want to fight for her? Stop being the nice guy or else the next girl you meet will walk all over you too. So IYO I should still try? Edited August 13, 2011 by praveer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abhi90 Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Perhaps I was afraid of the inevitable, if I did then I'd be in this position much earlier and that would've been better. So IYO I should still try? can i budge in? just leave it, whatever happens, happens for the good, you might see it's not helping me in anyway but xyz years down the line you'll see that it was a wise thing to move-on plus you wont feel like anda ll if you decide to wait. just enjoy your life is my humble opinion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mozart Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) Dedicating this to all heart broken people http://www.youtube.com/embed/pc0mxOXbWIU Edited August 13, 2011 by Mozart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noctis Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) Praveer, you also need to realize that there is a possibility she just made up the bf because she was not ready for a relationship and wanted to refuse without hurting your confidence. What you felt from her was probably genuine, but she could have had personal circumstances that didn't allow her to get into a relationship now. Im saying this because I have know such a situation personally, where the one who proposed and was proposed to liked each other, but could not accept it due to family circumstances. It left both of them heartbroken, but there was no way around it than just move on. Edited August 13, 2011 by Noctis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praveer Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) Praveer, you also need to realize that there is a possibility she just made up the bf because she was not ready for a relationship and wanted to refuse without hurting your confidence. What you felt from her was probably genuine, but she could have had personal circumstances that didn't allow her to get into a relationship now. Im saying this because I have know such a situation personally, where the one who proposed and was proposed to liked each other, but could not accept it due to family circumstances. It left both of them heartbroken, but there was no way around it than just move on. I don't deny that cause its fairly possible, infact has quite a high chance considering she is one of the few international students from the uni who lives here with her family (her uncle and aunt), I don't know them much but they seemed to be somewhat the conservative types. But guess what's done is done. I've even seen people who lie or joke to their friends that they have a GF/BF and when someone starts garnering and interest for them their friends tell the person that he/she is already committed..there are many things that go on inside a person's mind so you can't be too sure about anything. Edited August 13, 2011 by praveer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pixeljunkie Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 So IYO I should still try? Its obvious you do care for her because she showed genuine concern for you. Look at things the way she does - you confess your feelings for her and then do nothing when she tells you she has a boyfriend? She probably feels you yourself are unsure about your feelings for her. This is tricky part where you need to put up your price. If she calls, pick up and talk politely while sounding disinterested. When you happen to bump into her just act distant. Maintain cold eye contact with her. If she does like you then she'll confront you about your behaviour. At that point make it clear that you WANT her but you LEAST EXPECTED HER OF ALL PEOPLE to hide the fact that she had a boyfriend from you. Don't sound angry or anything, simply be polite when you tell her this. Buy her a small gift and tell her its proof of your genuine affection for her. Now this gift should have some meaninng attached to it - like a pendant of her favourite animal or her favourite flower. Don't buy anything expensive. Put some thought into it. After all this, if she really cares for you then she'll reciprocate as well. But if she doesn't then the truth is that she does not care for you at all; don't kick yourself since its not your fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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