1) Open steam in big picture mode.
2) Go into controller settings and enable playstation support
3) Plug in controller.
That's it. I've only had to do it only once.. After that, I exited big picture mode. I guess big picture mode is running in the background because every time I start steam with the controller plugged in or plug in the controller while steam is running, I get the popup asking me to activate big picture which I just close.
Here's my steam with the controller hooked up.
https://imgur.com/a/yCKlvq2