Jump to content

The Football Thread


Xeno

Recommended Posts

ok dude.^^ i would do that. but seriously trash talking before a match between manutd nd arsenal is the most fun part.

 

i changed the pic.is it ok nw?

 

Yes, I agree. Put please do not post NSFW pics. And try keeping the trash talk limited to text only. Thats more fun, when u r waitin to see what your opponent will reply.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This Eboue article on 606 is literally LOL-worthy :P

 

As the majority of Western Europe already knows, this has been Eboue Week. I think we have all grown closer to the man and the myth which is Emmanuel Perry Groves Eboue. But what does the future hold for him? Well wonder no more. I have studied the position of the stars in the night sky and read Nuts magazine in order to deduce his future.

 

2009 - After the entire Arsenal squad are diagnosed with hyperactive vertigo Eboue must face the remainder of the season alone. First up the FA Cup semi and Chelsea. The Chelsea Pensioners bay for blood as Essien attempts to rake our hero. Quickly, Eboue side-steps and deflects the blow. Cashley is next up and prepares to strike Eboue with his mighty wallet. Eboue blocks and squares up to Cole, who then uses his wife as a human shield. Eboue laughs at his cowardice. Cheryl, unimpressed, round-house kicks the ex-gunner to the ground. The ref hasn't started the match yet and is unimpressed with such unsanctioned violence. The match is abandoned and Chelsea are thrown out of the cup.

 

Eboue prepares himself for the league games. Much to his surprise the league has been cancelled and the top three have been thrown out. United due to administration. They backed Rio Ferdinand's solo album "Rio vs Elvis" and it was a commercial flop. Liverpool became an ice hockey team and Chelsea were excluded on the basis of Alan Pardew's allegations about their unique approach to dealing with the opposition. The league was Arsenal's. This meant that Villa, Everton and West Ham filled the Champions League places. Villa's dreams had come true. Sure they lost in the qualifying round to a semi-pro team from Moldova, but it's still the Champions League isn't it?

 

The Champion's league semi's are a tight affair. Thankfully for Eboue the whole United team all seem to be doing a Berbatov. They mindlessly plod around the pitch like the undead. The first match ends 0-0. Back at the Emirates it's much the same. This time though the Prancing Portugeezer is up for it. It is a duel to the death. Step-over after step-over, feet become a blur. Both men roll around on the floor simultaneously, attempting to sway the neutral Mike Riley. The 90th minute looms. Both men are exhausted. Ronaldo balances the ball on his head, mocking Eboue. Eboue seizes the moment. He boots Ronaldo into the air and from his own penalty spot he scorpion kicks Ronaldo and the ball into the opposite net. Rome here we come!

 

The physio is worried. Eboue was told to never attempt scorpion kicking people again. The injury is severe but Eboue waves away Colin Lewin. The pain is his fuel. He strides out onto the Wembley surface. He awaits Everton, who defeated United in the semi. Who would have thought Rooney was an undercover operative. Everton don't show up. In order to continue their rivalry with Liverpool they too have become an ice hockey team. The cup is in the bag.

 

The Champions League Final. Barcelona. Round 2. Eboue is broken. The mind is willing but the body is nearly spent. Somehow it's 0-0 after 76 minutes. Messi is so confident he has even started using his right foot. Eboue collapses. Xavi and Puyol bump fists. A substitution is made. Henry did not start. He had a touch of the flu and lost his va-va-voom. He sprints on and picks up Eboue. "I'm here for you," he says. He rips his Barca jersey and underneath is the redcurrant (or purple or whatever) top that Arsenal wore during the last year at Highbury. Then Yaya Toure breaks down and weeps. He cannot hide the truth anymore. He is Kolo's son, not his brother. Kolo is in fact 51. Yaya joins Eboue and Henry screaming "For My Father!" They are ready for the fight when suddenly Eboue sees a face from his past. It is Rosicky. They feared him lost that fateful day in January 2008 when a simple game of hide and seek went horribly wrong. Hleb then runs towards them with tears in his eyes, but is told to push off by Eboue. These four brave souls beat mighty Barcelona 7-0 and are applauded off the pitch by the peaceful and greatly loved Roman crowd. Eboue, I mean Arsenal, are Champions of Europe!

 

2010/2015 - Eboue leaves football having achieved his goals. He goes onto fulfill his dream of having an adamantium skeleton like his hero, Wolverine. Eboue brings back the humour to 606 by taking control of the internet in 2011. He writes and stars in his own sitcom "Eboue In The House" and fights a victorious holy war with Nasri in a busy 2012. He comes out of retirement in 2015 and plays a friendly against a bunch of 12 year olds. He is immediately crowned World and European Player of the Year. Then Eboue rises into the sky and leaves this world.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...