Jump to content

Heart broken ppl's club


Ne0
 Share

Recommended Posts

Taking a cue from Gaurav I am giving some Gyan on How to make the most of a LDR.

 

Surviving a long distance relationship is not impossible. No, it’s not easy-but it is doable.. And it has it's own excitement and "Looking forward to factor"

 

I have some tips that can really help..if you are serious about your long distance partner..

 

1. Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk

 

… and then talk some more.Part of a successful long distance relationship is being able to emulate patterns found in regular relationships. One of these patterns is daily communication. The evolution of the Internet is godsend for people who are in long distance relationships. Not only can you communicate via email and instant messaging for free, but you can also talk to each other through free services like Skype.,whatsapp,heytell,talkbox and others.. Communication and a healthy one is the most important key here..

 

2. Take baby steps

 

You will be forced to have a plan, to commit to ensure that distance goes away by so and so date/month/year.. though one needs to work on it but Instead of adding to an already stressful relationship by forcing a plan that may or may not be easy to make, take baby steps. Take it as it comes and create opportunity to spend time together through travel, meetings and living in as and when possible.

 

3.Express Your Feelings

 

Learning to express your feelings to your long distance partner in email, IM, and on the phone is important for the growth and stability of your relationship. One of the ways it increases your relationship stability is by providing "reassurance" to the other person about your commitment to him/her. When you express your feelings, you are letting your partner know that you are committed to making the relationship work.

 

4. Never Make Assumptions

Always be clear about your relationship with each other. Don't assume that your long-distance partner knows your feelings - share them. This is tough but you have to learn to not over-think his/her mind. Good or bad, be clear about how you feel about the relationship. Assumptions kill many relationships, while clear communication helps relationships succeed.

 

5.Trust One Another

Low self-esteem and a lack of trust can ruin wonderful relationships. All the more difficult when you know that the person you love is not evenin the same city/country/time zone as you and will need to have friends and social life that does not include you. But one just need to trust and take the person on the face value. I live by the philosophy that "I will fully trust a person until they give me a reason not to". This philosophy is very important in long distance relationships because if you start to lose trust and become insecure then your relationship will soon be sabotaged... by you.

 

6.Share Passions

 

The great thing about long-distance relationships is that you tend to get to know your partner much better than if you were physically together. As a result, you learn much more about your partner's likes, dislikes, and passions. Find something your partner is passionate about that you can get involved with. For example, maybe your partner really loves F1 race or Gaming and you've never played any Video game. Start taking interest and discuss it with your partner. Watch race, read game reviews, play etc.. You might develop a new passion yourself. Find passions that you both can share and it will invigorate your feelings and appreciation for the relationship.

 

7.Surprise!

Here are a few ideas you may want to consider:

$ An unexpected trip to see your partner.

$ A set of gifts that you give your partner when he/she leaves (after meeting you in person). The number of gifts correspond to the number of weeks until you see each other again.

 

8. Get a Life

 

You absolutely can not have a positive long distance relationship if you crawl into your bed and turn off the lights until he resurfaces. You have to have a life. Also, if you are depressed you will end up depressing your partner..so smile and be happy and share the happiness not stress.

 

9. Stay Positive

 

Most of the people who you know would dissuade you from a serious LDR, would stay stuff you don't want to know like,

“It’ll never work.”

 

“How are you going to make it?”

 

“I wonder what he/she is doing now.”

 

You don’t have room for these thoughts in your long distance relationship, so kick ‘em out. Either refuse to talk about your relationship with negative people or distance yourself from them all together.Your relationship has enough stress. Don’t let someone else dump their stress onto you. Just believe in yourself and love with your heart..

 

 

I can't find a point 10. So I would say, in the end, LOVE PREVAILS.. whether you stay with him/her in the same room, next door, other town or other country. If you are seriously in love and want to make this relationship work, you will do whatever it takes whether and that's what matters..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Point Number 9... totally +1. Imbeciles who can't stay faithful / who can't get a partner in some cases.... all they do is try and persuade you to break an LDR (first time I'm using LDR in a non-electrical-engineering way :giggle: ) that would otherwise have succeeded with a little bit of effort.

 

 

The Looking forward to factor plays a big role in helping you keep going.

Edited by Gaurav - Solitaire
Link to comment
Share on other sites

wow good 9 steps to follow :D but the reality is a lot simpler than that, so here it goes :-

long distance relationship - practical approach - not possible. period.

i got it figured out the hard way...here it is...gf in the same region as u r - love prevails

gf - gone to some other part of the (city, state, country)- love prevails for a couple of months and then u find out she cheated on u. end of story.

we r humans, tendency - if someone close to us dies - we cry a lot for a few (days, weeks, months, year)....a few years past --- we learn to live with it...

this is a gift from god to humans, we forget things real soon...love is human emotion which is dramatized a lil too much but actually its just a feeling, comes and goes out of the window just like the rest of the feelings.

its better to take the practical approach and let go of it at the right time. if u cling on to it for longer, chances are..u will end up broken hearted..now u dont wanna go thru it, believe u me...again - just something i learned from life and is completely my own opinion and no one is bound follow it :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry dude.. My point of view on cheating is simple.. If you get tempted to cheat on your partner, there is a gap in between your togetherness. It has nothing to do with the distance between you and your partner.

 

I have seen Live-In or even Married partner cheat on each other. So why blame the Long Distance.

 

again, Cheating may not only be sexual in nature.. what say?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

wow good 9 steps to follow :D but the reality is a lot simpler than that, so here it goes :-

long distance relationship - practical approach - not possible. period.

i got it figured out the hard way...here it is...gf in the same region as u r - love prevails

gf - gone to some other part of the (city, state, country)- love prevails for a couple of months and then u find out she cheated on u. end of story.

we r humans, tendency - if someone close to us dies - we cry a lot for a few (days, weeks, months, year)....a few years past --- we learn to live with it...

this is a gift from god to humans, we forget things real soon...love is human emotion which is dramatized a lil too much but actually its just a feeling, comes and goes out of the window just like the rest of the feelings.

its better to take the practical approach and let go of it at the right time. if u cling on to it for longer, chances are..u will end up broken hearted..now u dont wanna go thru it, believe u me...again - just something i learned from life and is completely my own opinion and no one is bound follow it :)

 

Well I'll take your bet and prove you wrong. :P

 

You probably learned it from 'life' and that certain 'life' would have cheated on you later on many years past if you had married her too had she got the chance. It's up to the individual. If you have the resolve, the mental fortitude and support from relatives, you can always make it work.

Edited by Gaurav - Solitaire
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I'll take your bet and prove you wrong. :P

 

You probably learned it from 'life' and that certain 'life' would have cheated on you later on many years past if you had married her too had she got the chance. It's up to the individual. If you have the resolve, the mental fortitude and support from relatives, you can always make it work.

 

 

:suicide:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

*reading this thread*

 

 

+1 :lol:

 

 

@megzworld

ws in a long dist(lady in germany) with ur namesake a few yrs ago.

safe to say, ur tips dont really work :tongue:

 

then agn, have a couple of frds who've been together for a few yrs despite being continents apart..... :hi:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LDRs are hard. No doubt about it. Staying committed/faithful is harder than if you're in the same place. No brainer. Does that mean it's in the too hard basket? No. Since when does anything worth having come easily to you in life? Chuck everything else out the window. Keep the trust. Get yourselves in the same place as often as you can, or if that's not feasible, use the technology that's available to the best advantage. If both parties are realistic about how difficult it will be and willing to give it a go, it may well work out. There's no guarantee it will. Then again, life doesn't come with guarantees. Ever.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

+1 :lol:

 

 

@megzworld

ws in a long dist(lady in germany) with ur namesake a few yrs ago.

safe to say, ur tips dont really work :tongue:

 

then agn, have a couple of frds who've been together for a few yrs despite being continents apart..... :hi:

 

 

Wow, there are girls names "Megzworld" really??

 

See, my tips are very generic and may work only if the relationship itself is very serious and both partners are realistic in their expectations and determined to make the necessary efforts to make it work.

 

LDR is a phase. It can never be a permanent way of relationship. It is tough and very tough and frustrating and difficult, no doubt in that. The thing is, if you can be faithful and in love with your partner after months or years of LDR chances are you guys will value the relationship and have a successful one once you are together.

 

And like Outsider says, Anything worth really having in life is worth fighting for.. so what the Long Distance??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry dude.. My point of view on cheating is simple.. If you get tempted to cheat on your partner, there is a gap in between your togetherness. It has nothing to do with the distance between you and your partner.

 

I have seen Live-In or even Married partner cheat on each other. So why blame the Long Distance.

 

again, Cheating may not only be sexual in nature.. what say?

:arigato:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I'll take your bet and prove you wrong. :P

 

You probably learned it from 'life' and that certain 'life' would have cheated on you later on many years past if you had married her too had she got the chance. It's up to the individual. If you have the resolve, the mental fortitude and support from relatives, you can always make it work.

if its a bet, i would prefer to loose :) i wish u the best of luck with it..cheers!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...